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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

need help urgently

11 replies

hkgihdhgj · 10/03/2023 00:05

I lost the case and have to sell my house, but I am still in the process of appealing the outcome. My ex-husband and I have signed a divorce agreement that I will own the house, we have our thumbprints printed but we have not got a lawyer to sign it. I can also prove that I paid for the down payment on the house and that I live in the house with my 10 year old child.
My ex-husband stole a lot of my old bank cards 6 years ago and they were from a Chinese bank and he showed them to the judge. The judge was very angry when he saw the cards, he didn't even look at my evidence and he didn't believe anything I said. I can't get a single cent of his pension, and I can't get a single cent of alimony, so please help me. There is child support.

OP posts:
Situaciones · 10/03/2023 06:56

What country do you live in?

Nimbostratus100 · 10/03/2023 06:58

Once the house is sold, how are you funding your next home?

Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 10/03/2023 10:25

I am in UK

OP posts:
Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 10/03/2023 10:26

Nimbostratus100 · 10/03/2023 06:58

Once the house is sold, how are you funding your next home?

I dont know yet .I may need buy small share of shareownship house.

OP posts:
Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 10/03/2023 10:28

Those bank card are closed and 13 years ago stuff....... he even took photoes for every my uk closed bank cards or invalid cards. This man is insane.

OP posts:
rambunctiousrapscallion · 10/03/2023 10:35

Hello, so sorry you are going through a hard time. I was a little confused by some points in your post and I'm not sure what specific advice you are looking for, is it about the appeal?

Did you ex agree to let you have the house and then go back on the offer and take you to court? There are many factors that are relevant when deciding a split. The length of the marriage, the total amount of assets, how much you and he both earn.

Spousal support is rare unless he is a very high earner and it was a long marriage. You mention you cant access his pension, do you have a pension? What does the current split of assets look like?

Im not sure I understand the thing about the cards and why it annoyed the judge. Did he insinuate you were hiding money?

Did you have legal representation. Do you have a lawyer now?

Sending you the best.

pilates · 10/03/2023 10:38

You need a good lawyer.

LemonTT · 10/03/2023 12:25

It is very difficult to understand what has happened and what advice you want.

  1. It seems a judge has made a decision about your financial settlement as part of a divorce and that you are unhappy about it. Why are you unhappy and what do you think isn’t fair?
  2. It seems you and your ex husband had reached a deal but that it wasn’t signed. The deal always had to go before a judge. A lawyer cannot approve it and at least one of you wanted to go to court to decide something else. Judges can and do refuse to agree to deals.
  3. It seems there was some issue about money and cards being taken during the marriage. It’s unclear why this is an issue that would impact on a divorce. The judge is only looking at current assets and income, not the past. He has limited scope to look at what happened when you were married.
  4. There is no alimony in the UK. Sometimes there is an award of spousal support but it is very rare. Most people don’t get spousal support. Just child support if normal.
Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 10/03/2023 13:52

LemonTT · 10/03/2023 12:25

It is very difficult to understand what has happened and what advice you want.

  1. It seems a judge has made a decision about your financial settlement as part of a divorce and that you are unhappy about it. Why are you unhappy and what do you think isn’t fair?
  2. It seems you and your ex husband had reached a deal but that it wasn’t signed. The deal always had to go before a judge. A lawyer cannot approve it and at least one of you wanted to go to court to decide something else. Judges can and do refuse to agree to deals.
  3. It seems there was some issue about money and cards being taken during the marriage. It’s unclear why this is an issue that would impact on a divorce. The judge is only looking at current assets and income, not the past. He has limited scope to look at what happened when you were married.
  4. There is no alimony in the UK. Sometimes there is an award of spousal support but it is very rare. Most people don’t get spousal support. Just child support if normal.

We were married in 2010, a boy 10 years old, and my ex-husband stole a lot of my Chinese bank cards that were cancelled and expired back in 2017.
We signed an agreement in 2016 that was just between the two of us privately. If we divorce, the house is going to be mine. I don't have a lawyer and I'm currently on unversal credit because I have a panic attack, a panic attack caused by domestic violence within the marriage, which led to my current ptsd.
But he took out those cards, especially the one that was cancelled, the effective date was 2014, but the cancellation was in 2014, the card is still valid for this year 2023, but the picture of the card shows that it is still valid for this year, so the judge was furious. I was stunned and terrified to think that he had prepared for this 7 years ago when I had a relapse, just the thought of it was terrifying. I was unorganised in my answers to the judge's questions later on. My brain was in a fog, too.
He also took pictures of a friend of mine's car near my house at night and said that I was living with this friend, and after the judge looked at the card,, he believed everything my ex-husband said. I'm not living with anyone and if I was living with anyone my unversal credit would be cancelled.

I had registered a Chinese company for my family before I got married and all my company bank accounts were cancelled.
But the company is not cancelled, but it does not run any business, it is a sleeping company.
He kept stressing that I was still in business, and the judge believed it. I am only the nominated shareholder, I am not the real owner. It was my sister. The judge didn't look at my documents, he only looked at my evidence, and I asked them twice to look at my evidence.
I asked them twice to see my evidence, but they thought my story was a lie because of the bank card. It was the card that was cancelled in 2014, but the photo on the card still showed the expiry date as 2023.

OP posts:
Parky04 · 10/03/2023 14:11

Apologies, but I'm very confused by your posts. Can only suggest you seek the advices of a solicitor.

LemonTT · 10/03/2023 14:45

Ok.

The UK courts will not uphold a pre or post nuptial agreement if it conflicts with our divorce laws. It would definitely not uphold one that is not signed. The agreement has very little standing in the UK. The agreement is not going to overturn a legal ruling by a UK court, they can be worthless here.

I think you are also saying that your ex produced evidence that suggested you had assets overseas that you have not declared. You could easily have demonstrated there was no money in these accounts and that nothing had been moved to another account with statements. Did you submit the evidence they asked for in disclosure. It’s not enough to provide evidence you want to present and yes, they can refuse to look at it if it’s not relevant.

Speak to a solicitor and more importantly listen to the solicitor.

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