Divorcing without a solicitor

[LumpyPumpkin]

Hi,

I have been separated for 5 years now and want a divorce so I can feel like my life is properly moving on.

I simply cannot afford even the cheapest solicitor so I am doing it all myself via the gov.uk website.

I have submitted the application today and it says I need to email a copy of my marriage certificate because I didn't do this when I filled in the application (I did, but who am I to argue with a computer).

It says my application won't be issued until I do so. I have emailed it over straight away and got an auto-response saying not to contact them again unless they haven't replied by 8 weeks time.

Does anyone have any experience of how long it might take them to actually review my certificate?

Also can anyone advise how long it takes once they've received by certificate for the application to actually be issued? Ime how long from now before my 20 week wait for the conditional order?

I'm just trying to work out if my dream of being divorced by the end of the year is possible.

Any advice/experiences of DIY divorce would be much appreciated.

Thanks

Make sure you also get a financial order not just the divorce

I'm not sure about how long when you've emailed the certificate but when I did mine online and attached the certificate it took a couple of weeks for them to review the application and confirm it was okay. I don't think you'll be waiting months for it so the end of the year should be feasible.
The divorce is the easy bit. The consent order is potentially more complicated though if you've been separated for 5 years already I assume you've sorted the finances. You'll still need the consent order so neither of you have any come back later on.

2-3 weeks, OP.

I am trying to do this, too. Do you want to swap notes?

After the form D8 cooling off period expires, I think next form to send off is the D84. D84 is the actual form to apply for "consent order."

Even before D84 is approved (which takes ~3 weeks) we can prepare the documents for financial order which means filing D81.. and that's where I get totally confused. Which form to do in what order at that point is unclear.

Part of the picture is to get our pensions valued. Does anyone know how long a pension company needs to do that?

Yes I don’t know how quick it will be for them to start the clock on the 20 weeks but thereafter I’ve been told once you apply for your conditional order it’s a couple of weeks for a judge to be assigned, it’s read out in court then granted online. Then 6 weeks to final order.

I’ve just applied for my conditional order.

BUT you have to get a financial consent order. There’s a recent thread about someone wanting to use one of these online Quickie Divorce services (waste of time) but everyone there goes into the reasons why you bedd a consent order.

You can fill in form DB81 online using the guidance online. You might want to look up draft examples of financial consent orders. You can only submit it after your Conditional Order is granted.

But you need it. Otherwise he could make a claim against you in the future. If you have no ongoing obligations to each other it’s a clean break.

Yes D81.

Pension cos can be VERY slow to do those valuations. Also unless you are 100% sure you both have simple pensions you might want actuarial advice. There are many thousands of women who thought their ex’s pension was with X and so fine to offset against another asset worth that. Only to find it was some all singing final pension salary with XXX. Esp true if exH is civil service, public sector etc.

I’m recently divorced and it took a year

I applied for divorce in the May and had decree absolute mid August.

I applied in November - had email confirming the application and the 20 weeks will be up next month. d81 is done and signed - did have a solicitor do a financial consent order. Expecting the absolute 6 weeks from early April so June?

How did you skip the 20 week cooling off period?

Is Form 84 completely pointless?
I cannot understand why there is no online diagram showing the steps & forms simply.
We are 100% sure what we want to do in the split. Since I am confused I understand why lawyers make so much money. I am feeling like a turnipbrain compared to people who could figure it all out from govt website.

Why does Form 81 have a title = "Statement of information for a consent order
in relation to a financial remedy" which implies it is the form to use to get a consent order, but then Question 7 says "How was the proposed consent order, attached to this form, reached?", which implies Form 81 absolutely in no way at all is the application for consent order? If Form 81 isn't the form to use to get a consent order, is form 84 the form that one uses to obtain a consent order, and Form 81 is the form one uses to obtain a financial order even though Form 81 says it's "for a consent order" (so the name of Form 81 makes no sense at all). I haven't found any guidance about these questions.

How does one calculate "day of separation" for Form 81? I haven't found any guidance about that. I think "day of separation" might = day that cooling off period stops.

Wikivorce doesn't seem to have been updated since 2021.
Some other website people recommend also seems to only have pre 2022 guides.

@peanutbutterkid I really don't know - has the process changed since I applied? I left him in March 19, applied in early May 19 (remember it well as it was near my bday), and I've just checked my absolute date and it's the 14th August. I just sent off the application and then responded when I had something to respond to. Luckily exH responded promptly too. I remember waiting rather impatiently for the gap between nisi and absolute and counting down the days til I could apply for absolute.

ah yes, lots changed in ~April 2022. The first stage is now a cooling off period, 20 weeks. The other steps, if only I knew what order to do them with using which forms, seem to need very minimum 6 more weeks to get finalised.

So this is interesting, it seems to say very emphatically that form D81 is THE form to file to get a consent order under new rules. Even thought form D81 asks ""How was the proposed consent order, attached to this form, reached?", as though the consent order is something else, and D81 is not how one applies for a consent order.

Or maybe not.

I really could use a flow chart, sigh.
I wonder what form D84 is for, then. Maybe only the OLD divorce pathway.

I'm reading maximum 3 months from requesting a pensions CETV to getting it.

I think form D81 is accompanies the drafted consent order? And outlines how the settlement outlined in the order was decided? That's my understanding of the wording on the Gov.uk site

And I thought D84 was part of the old divorce process?

Yes D81 is used to show how you reached agreement basically - what you had before divorce in terms of house equity, debts, savings etc and then what your respective financial situations look like after divorce

You don't need a solicitor to complete it - you can declare at the bottom you've done it without legal advice

The financial consent order is the formal legal document - I'm paying STBEXH circa £60k - so it's stated in the consent order with timescales of when that needs to be paid by and protects him if I then refuse to pay it later

Not sure how you'd work it out since you've been separated 5 years though - I completed mine within a couple of weeks of him leaving so I had all the statements etc of finances and debts on the date he left

that is helpful, BCW. How did you figure that out? I can believe that's correct, so why doesn't the guidance for D81 form say "The D81 form accompanies the Consent order; the consent order is the explicit plan for how to divide your assets; here is a link to guide to things you need to know about writing a consent order": nothing says that. why isn't the process more explicit (grumble, grumble)

What format is the consent order? Do you know? Can it be formatted in any way possible as long as it's written in Legalese? Is the consent format drafted the same now as it was possible to format before the 2022 change? Because a friend may have a consent order we could clone, come to think of it. Just two differences in our situation...

I can accept we might have to employ a solicitor for some parts, such as drafting consent order. Just would be nicer to do parts we can without solicitor involvement (and how do people proceed who have very little money for solicitors?)

I really dont' want to spend 10-50 minuts or so having to pay a lawyer to explain to me the things I already know, or insisting they have to explore every aspect of why we should try to split our pensions or revisit other aspects of the financial decisions we already made.

I’m also going through divorce straight via govt website. I find it annoying that it is step by step rather without giving an overview. Had no idea I could complete the financial order now.

I’ve been separated 7 years. Ex wants to go back to his country so feel under pressure to get this done. I hope the form isn’t too hard to complete!

@Milkand2sugarsplease the date of separation is the day you stopped living together as man and wife. It’s often the day one or other moved out of the marital home. But not
always - some people cohabit whilst being “separated. “. When thinking about when you separated and if there are any big assets to kind it’s worth remembering that you only have one tax year (the one you’re in) to move without capital gains. So if you separate on 2 April 22 you’ve got a whole year. But if you separate 1 March 22 you've only got a less than a month!!

(Check with tax advisors etc)

ah, I have my head around the capital gains. Any transfers before 5 April. And no CGT penalty if FO stipulates we each still have 50% in FMH & that's sold within 3 years.

"separated" so is that the same as the day we filed form D8 or earlier, can it be later? We are still living under 1 roof until summer & we send off form asking for the financial split to get seal of approval, & sharing all expenses. We want the "separation" date to be either day we submit D81 or a few weeks before. At least that's what we want to do. Not sure we are allowed to do that legally.

I worked it out from the wording in the screenshot I added to my post.

I'm not sure about drafting the consent order, as I divorced using solicitors (and went all the way to final hearing) quite a while ago. I would be inclined to use a solicitor to draft it, actually, it's a binding legal document so I wouldn't want anything not quite expressed correctly or using the correct wording.

Should have said 'or not using the correct legal terminology '

arhg, I am so frustrated that I cannot work this stuff out for myself.
Sorry Lumpy, I suspect you'll have to employ a solicitor, too.

i guess I will ring around to find a solicitor who will work for both me & stbX. I will prepare every scrap of the paperwork I can in plain English which might save us a pittance in lawyer time to draft the consent order.

I found a 94 page version, which seems to be template for divorce under the pre2022 terms. Orders, Transfers, Undertaking... etc.

A solicitor cannot work for both parties, it's a conflict of interests.

... and that's another annoying as hell thing. stbX & I are completely amicable, know exactly what we want to do, so why are we being forced to expensively talk thru lawyers in order to make a simple agreement. I'm feeling fairly irate about the situation, tbh.

You just need a legal person to draw up the consent order if you're in agreement. It can be a done for as low as £250 from what I've heard, (my divorce lawyer is charging about £400) but it is a legal document so should be done correctly. If the split isn't 50/50, the other person will need to see a solicitor but shouldn't need more than an hour.

thanks 4MP. Unfortunately, I think we are conceding defeat. As if the whole sequence of steps wasn't confusing enough (and I was constantly confused about it)... we need a Mesher order, which is delayed sale of the house after the divorce, ... necessary so I can avoid paying CGT. One way around that would be if I don't move out until we sell (planned 2024). I wouldn't be seeking divorce if I was willing to wait so long to move out, though.

I think we had a chance to do consent order ourselves but the Mesher order needs high Legalese... at least I am pretty sure it does. I seriously considered getting divorce 1st & financial agreement up to 18m after divorce, next year, after house sells, but I'd still be liable for the CGT. So ... stuffed unless we delay everything about the divorce for ~18m. We have to lawyer up like it or not.

Guess I now need advice of how to find cheap but competent lawyers who will do as we ask & not spend ages about it, who won't keep asking "but are you sure??" questions about all the aspects we literally decided in 1st week after we agreed to divorce & that we don't want to revisit.

I've got a string of headache questions about whether to try to buy another property this year for myself or to wait until after the main house sale, also has to do with a job insecurity problem. Ho hum. 1 problem at a time, I suppose. We requested pension evaluations today, anyway.

I am hoping our lawyer bills will < £2000. Lawyers charge £300 + VAT an hour, right? I like to start with terrible expectations so then I can almost feel happy when things merely turn out bad. I wonder if the marriage has even possibly saved me £2000 at some point. Maybe, stbX is good at DIY, I suppose.

Sorry to hijack your thread, OP. I felt like eventually I did find enough links for how to draft a consent order, but it's very hard to get a useable template. Happy to send you what I found, if you DM me.