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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce

10 replies

Jenjam80 · 02/03/2023 23:14

Hi
Looking for some advice. Am going through divorce with my ex of 12 yrs. We have an 8 yr old dd. Ex earns abt 100k a yr, i was a sahm raising our daughter until 2/3 yrs ago when started working part time as it suited ex as he travels a lot with his job. We’ve sold the house and ive since found out he had £80k of debts which comes out the matrimonial pot, not leaving much after the mortgage has been cleared. Hes suggesting a 50/50 split, abt £35k each. In the meantime he has bought himself another house and i am renting a small 2 bed house. Would it be worth trying to get more than 50/50 or am i just wasting time and money on solicitors/court fees?

OP posts:
Shouldbedoing · 02/03/2023 23:23

Legal advice will save you way more than settling in the way the ex would like. The pensions, debts, savings, equity all go in the pot, the percentage split reflects the childcare distribution. How did he accrue £80K debt? Has he been siphoning off joint money?
Don't trust him

GoldilockMom · 02/03/2023 23:32

Make sure he does a full financial disclosure
How has he brought a new property with so much debt? Where the deposit come from?
what’s in his pension or shares?
Any off shore bank accounts

Jenjam80 · 02/03/2023 23:54

He said a family member lent him the £35k deposit. He was putting pressure on me to release the equity from the house which i refused to do until getting legal advice. We sold our house and 2 days later he had put a verbal offer on his new one. I will be seeing the financial disclosure next week. No idea that he was taking out loan after loan and has been for years. Pension worth £150k.

OP posts:
Jenjam80 · 03/03/2023 00:00

Hes worked out he will pay family member back when he gets his share. Im now in rented living off benefits and part time wage and hes living in his nice new house still earning and moving on. Feels so unfair. Ive spent last 10yrs working my arse off renovating our house and bringing up dd not to mention putting up with all his narcissistic abuse and demands to now be discarded like a piece of sh**

OP posts:
isthistheendtakeabreath · 03/03/2023 08:23

You are obviously entitled to a share of his pension but it's not like you'd get a lump sum transferred to you bank account - you'd still have to wait until pensionable age to receive it

You'd likely be able to get more than a 50/50 split in the remaining house equity IMO as his mortgage raising capacity is much higher than yours

That being said with an 8 year old you'd be expected to work full time and maximise your earnings too

millymollymoomoo · 03/03/2023 10:22

You can put in claim for pension sharing - or use this as leverage to get all the equity possibly

you need to think about full time employment to increase your income. Are you get child maintenance too?

GoldDuster · 03/03/2023 10:26

Get thee to a solicitor.

Mumof3confused · 03/03/2023 21:09

Get an hour with a solicitor, some offer low cost/fixed fee. When you exchange financial disclosure you should see what loan agreement he has with his friend.

ResponsetoJenjam80 · 04/03/2023 19:14

Important to get full and frank disclosure - it is a legal requirement.

To know what a fair split of assets is and to reach a financial settlement divorcing parties need to know what the assets of the marriage are, and what each asset is worth - including all property.

Checking what full disclosure looks like
Refer back to Form E when checking whether you have received full disclosure. Each party should set out their assets, income, and financial needs. You can see in Form E the assets that are taken into consideration upon divorce and financial settlement, for example property (houses / flats / the former marital home), pensions, savings, stocks and shares etc. It also lists the documents needed that show the value of assets for example CETVs (cash equivalent transfer values of pensions - which can be requested from pension providers).
Important to have all that documentary evidence.

Once there is full disclosure, informed decisions about finances can be made.

What are the assets worth? Any pensions?
To find out what some assets are worth an independent expert can be used. Property can be valued by an expert - estate agents, pensions by CETV and / or a pension on divorce expert (PODE) report and so on. It is important to decide what needs a valuation by an independent expert and factor in the costs of these. Pensions can be very valuable – equivalent or more than the value of the former martial home in some cases. Divorcing parties might hold different types of pensions (not like-for-like, so difficult to compare without an expert).

Circumstances might be complex for example an age difference or pensions in payment. One party may have stayed at home to look after children. An actuary can do an in-depth report on pension sharing - what capital and income would be if split 50/50 or a percentage of choice. They can be instructed to factor in retirement ages of the parties. Joint instructions are given to the actuary and they walk parties through the process.

Who gets what?
When deciding how to distribute a couple’s assets and income the court must apply a checklist of factors set by statute. The relevant statute is section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. These factors will need to be applied in every case, regardless of whether you are engaged in court proceedings or negotiating your own settlement. These are often called the Section 25 factors, which the court will consider when deciding how to distribute assets upon divorce or dissolution.

Section 25 Factors
www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1973/18/section/25
images.ctfassets.net/o8luwa28k6k2/2cpp2mEMwBJWJLuzTiTruB/b5397e7459154fad8927826a2c99acdd/section-25-expert-guide.pdf

The income, earning capacity, property, and other financial resource which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future is considered.

First consideration is given to the welfare (while a minor) of any child of the family who has not yet attained the age of eighteen.

The needs of each divorcing party are considered and as I understand it 50 / 50 is the starting point – so unequal shares based on circumstances and needs is possible, for example 60 / 40.

Not getting full and frank disclosure?
It is vital to get all the assets “on the table” so that informed financial decision can be made and a fair/just settlement negotiated.

Full and frank financial disclosure is required and usually provided when Form E is exchanged.

If after Form E there is missing information / documentary evidence ‘Questionnaires’ may be exchanged to retrieve it – a list of questions and a list of any missing documentary evidence required which is served on each party.
If still missing after that, ‘Deficiencies’ are exchanged – questions can be asked to clarify and a list of required documentary evidence that is still missing.

A solicitor’s letter can be sent to retrieve financial information / documentary evidence.

A Court Order can also be applied for to gain financial information / documentary evidence / valuations that are missing / essential.

Advice and info
These offer a free advice session about pensions on divorce and separation www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/divorce-and-separation/divorce-or-dissolution-how-we-can-help-with-your-pension
Free advice line (busy so keep trying) rightsofwomen.org.uk

Guides on divorce and financial settlement
www.advicenow.org.uk/divorce-and-separation
www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/how-apply-financial-order-without-help-lawyer

Pensions on divorce
www.sharingpensions.co.uk/penaudit3.htm
www.mediateuk.co.uk/the-ultimate-guide-to-pensions-on-divorce/
www.nuffieldfoundation.org/news/new-good-practice-guide-addresses-shortfall-in-understanding-of-how-to-treat-pensions-on-divorce

Valuation of pensions – pensions on divorce expert report (actuary)
www.collinspensionactuaries.co.uk no relation – useful website
www.collinspensionactuaries.co.uk/pension-data-collection/ templates for information required

Mediation
Mediation can be used to reach agreements.

Some cases are not suitable for mediation e.g., domestic abuse/bullying/coercive control.

www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/mediation
resolution.org.uk/looking-for-help/splitting-up/your-process-options-for-divorce-and-dissolution/family-mediation/

The First Meeting with a Mediator – The MIAM
www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/family-mediation/assessment-meeting-miam/
“The mediator will tell you whether your case is suitable for mediation, and you can decide whether you want to proceed with mediation or explore another option for resolving issues. The mediator can also give you information about other services which provide help and support.”

Legal advice
This link gives you an indication of hourly rate for solicitors
www.gov.uk/guidance/solicitors-guideline-hourly-rates
Some organisations offer free advice from solicitors and barristers rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/ On their FAQs page…”Our Legal Officers and Volunteer legal advisors are all solicitors and barristers”.
Some family solicitors offer an in initial free consultation and some a fixed fee rather than hourly.
Some barristers can be directly instructed e.g., via Clerksroom Direct

Mumsnet suggest www.advicenow.org.uk/tags/separation-divorce-and-dissolution-civil-partnerships

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