Pension Question

[ConfusedWife1111]

In the process of sorting out separation. Been with hubby 18 years. Our pension pots are pretty small and as we are trying to do this amicably and without solicitors am I better off ignoring the pension difference? His is around 80k, mine is around 58k. That is the pot value, not the cash value. I am guessing even if I was to try to claim some of that it would cost more than its worth?

curious about answers

How much are your relative earnings, ages? Have you had a gap in working to raise children? What other assets are there being split?
how old are you both ?

this would guide my answer
but on face value I wouldn’t bother going for pension sharing on those values

If you are sure those are the values I would park the issue whilst you sort out everything else. There is a small advantage to him. But if you reach an issue where you want a small advantage trade it off.

Pensions on divorce
These offer a free advice session about pensions on divorce and separation www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/divorce-and-separation/divorce-or-dissolution-how-we-can-help-with-your-pension

Other info here
www.sharingpensions.co.uk/penaudit3.htm
www.mediateuk.co.uk/the-ultimate-guide-to-pensions-on-divorce/
www.nuffieldfoundation.org/news/new-good-practice-guide-addresses-shortfall-in-understanding-of-how-to-treat-pensions-on-divorce

Important to get all assets "on the table" so informed decisions can be made.

Divorce and Financial Settlement:
Full and frank disclosure is a legal requirement.

To know what a fair split of assets is and to reach a financial settlement divorcing parties need to know what the assets of the marriage are, and what each asset is worth.

What does full and frank disclosure look like?
Look at a Form E. A long document in which each party sets out their assets, income, and financial needs. You can see in it the assets that are taken into consideration upon divorce and financial settlement, for example property (the former marital home), pensions (types as well as value), savings, stocks and shares etc. It also lists the documents needed that show the value of assets . Form Es are exchanged – both parties fill them out, attach the required documentary evidence and send them to each other.

Thanks. I have looked and Form E is for going to court? We are getting on ok and trying to be fair with each other as we are primarily thinking of the impact on our own wellbeing and the kids. At the moment the intention is to get something agreed between us that we are both happy with and get that agreed and signed by a solicitor at the end. We have a few credit cards, cars, pretty simple stuff.

We left the pensions alone. They were more or less the same. But work through the other stuff if you hit another issue if inequity. For example one car is better than the other then use this to trade off and ask for the food car. Or ask him to pay off the credit card or take all the good furniture / white goods. There’s always something that can even stuff out.

In the grand scheme of life I doubt this will be a big issue.

@ConfusedWife1111 - if you both agree you can complete form D81 instead of Form E. Much simplier

Assuming you are the other side of ConfusedHusband who has the other thread about doing Separation Agreements remember you can't split pensions without a divorce and consent order.

Separation agreement would cover other circumstances and potentially could carry weight if you do divorce but if circumstances change then it could potentially be changed also.

Is there a reason you aren't just agreeing a consent order as part of the process?

I think the question here is can you both agree not to bring pensions into it, or will the courts force the issue?

i would be interested in this answer?

I would like to know what judge wants to see as "evidence that both parties took legal advice". I am very unhappy that we are forced to pay lots of money to lawyers to prove that we know our own minds. I will literally detail to the penny how much we paid the lawyers if that's what it takes to persuade judge that we each "took legal advice."

@peanutbutterkid - what made you say that - because that's what I've been told; apparently a mediator is no good it has to be a solicitor. And apparently, even if you have taken legal advice and can prove it, the judge still might refuse to accept both parties' wishes, even if they agree wholeheartedly. Which I find quite frightening - all I've been through personally in trying to get a divorce, and then the judge might just say no on a whim.

I listen to Podcasts by a solicitor on facebook called The Legal Queen and she said exactly this last week, someone was saying oh we've agreed x y z (no children involved) and she told her client she wouldn't be able to "get that past a judge".

I thought no fault divorce was a lifeline but seems to be even more complicated than previously.

Sorry @peanutbutterkid - my question should have been "what makes you say that - have you been told the same thing too?"

I imagine that lawyers flip out if you write down on your statement to judge, "I know I took legal advice because I paid £2892.42 for it. "

Sorry Hanger, I'm incredibly clueless !! Other than the initial no-fault form, I still feel extremely confused about what forms to fill in saying what and send to who when. It's even more frustrating when I know I'm at least moderately intelligent and yet i just can't figure out this process or even what is the cheapest way to get thru it : other than the obvious which is everything we agreed months ago and staying amicable with stbX. Agreeing with stbX what to do, that was astonishingly extremely dead easy. Figuring out the legal steps: totally defeated me even after hours of trying to find the info for free (on google).

Given I have to talk to a lawyer to get thru next steps, how quickly do lawyers do stuff ? I will keep stalling on talking to lawyer until the last possible moment just in case I can figure out what to do without involving lawyer. So if my Application to conditional order (1st one) finishes its 20 week period on 15 June, and stbX and I know exactly what we want, and we can fill in the form D81 mostly by ourselves, but it must include a (relatively simple?) Mesher order & possibly this document called a "consent order" which both presumably take time to draft (we all know lawyers move at glacial speeds) can I wait until 15 May to talk to lawyer, or do I need to talk to lawyer sooner than 15 May?