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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Do things ever change

7 replies

LJane88 · 27/02/2023 23:30

So I have been with my husband 11 years married 5, have a DS aged 19 months. I am currently going through the motions of a divorce after what I can describe as the worst year of my life. Sadly I lost my dad last year, had to find another job due to difficulties with childcare at work and lost a pregnancy. My husband did nothing and I mean nothing at home, night feeds, cleaning etc. don’t get me wrong he works hard no denying that but my alarm bells rose when he became moody towards me, carried his phone everywhere with him and wouldn’t sit in the same room as me when at home. When I asked him for help he wouldn’t and he would say things like he couldn’t stand me and he hated me, with me for our son amongst other things. Anyway fast forward to now and I have told him enough is enough after I caught him out at Xmas lying meeting a ‘colleague’ for coffee.

I have commenced divorce and the house is up for sale as I just realised after an argument I deserved better. Anyway he now realises he has fucked up and is trying everything to get me to change my mind. My gut tells me to continue but it’s just so hard. Do things ever change? I can’t forget all of the abusive things he said to me

OP posts:
Cofis · 28/02/2023 04:38

Keep going. He is not worth your time🌺

Basecampzero · 28/02/2023 04:44

LJane88 · 27/02/2023 23:30

So I have been with my husband 11 years married 5, have a DS aged 19 months. I am currently going through the motions of a divorce after what I can describe as the worst year of my life. Sadly I lost my dad last year, had to find another job due to difficulties with childcare at work and lost a pregnancy. My husband did nothing and I mean nothing at home, night feeds, cleaning etc. don’t get me wrong he works hard no denying that but my alarm bells rose when he became moody towards me, carried his phone everywhere with him and wouldn’t sit in the same room as me when at home. When I asked him for help he wouldn’t and he would say things like he couldn’t stand me and he hated me, with me for our son amongst other things. Anyway fast forward to now and I have told him enough is enough after I caught him out at Xmas lying meeting a ‘colleague’ for coffee.

I have commenced divorce and the house is up for sale as I just realised after an argument I deserved better. Anyway he now realises he has fucked up and is trying everything to get me to change my mind. My gut tells me to continue but it’s just so hard. Do things ever change? I can’t forget all of the abusive things he said to me

It might get better for a bit. But anyone who is actively abusive is showing their underlying nature.

Can you imagine being moody with your partner on a regular basis, never helping them even though they're overwhelmed and grieving? I'm guessing no. He has no problem with this. Imagine living like this if you were ill or getting old. You deserve so much better.

Jas683 · 28/02/2023 08:05

I am a firm believer in going with your gut feeling.
Only you can decide your future.
Good luck.

Original poster
LJane88 · 28/02/2023 10:42

Thankyou it’s so hard, I feel like I’m grieving all over again ;(

OP posts:
Lara53 · 28/02/2023 12:42

Hugs

Mummys · 28/02/2023 13:52

She's dumped him I imagine. Stick to your guns, he sounds like an arse and you will be happier in the long run without him

queenieq · 28/02/2023 14:03

They often do that when they haven't instigated the breakup or divorce. I'd also stick to your guns here.

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