In Contempt of Family Court?!

[sunshineandrainbows12]

Hello!
My ex was NFA'd for rape, stalking with intent to harm, witness intimidation and 2 breaches of an NMO.

In family court, the allegations against him were proven for rape, child abuse amongst a bunch of other things. I've spoken out about this and shared my story on social media however I realise that the court order says this:

Confidentiality warning
The names of the children and the parties are not to be publicly disclosed without the court’s permission.

Does this mean I can't write a book, blog etc? Can I speak out knowing that people have met him before? He's a nobody haah but still! If I just don't include his name is that fine?

It's ridiculous that he's been proven guilty in family court of rape and child abuse but he's out there living his life dating innocent and unsuspecting women. The justice system is a fallacy sadly.
Thanks, I appreciate your help

The family court isn’t a criminal court though. A family court cannot find him guilty of those crimes. The family court can accept your evidence and conclude that it is likely correct but unless he has also been through a criminal trial and convicted then he hasn’t been found guilty. We’re you represented by a solicitor at the family court? What did they tell you about posting on social media? It’s not generally a good idea tbh. It’s not just about you of children are involved. It’s wrong of you to waive their right to anonymity, which as your mother you will have by putting it on social media that they were abused. Is there going to be a criminal investigation? If not why not??

I guess it’s to do with the burden of proof. I’m not a lawyer, but I wonder what “allegations were proven” means i na family court setting, and I’d think it was lower than a criminal burden of proof. That means you can’t go around saying X is a rapist as it’s a criminal offence not been proven to a criminal burden of proof. (Beyond reasonable doubt rather than just probable)

Surely that’s about protecting the privacy of your children rather than him though? As minors they have the right to be protected and not having what has happened in the public domain.

I think you may well be in contempt of court and it would be wise to remove anything from social media. Unfair as it feels, it doesn’t sound like he’s been convicted and you can’t publicly say someone has committed an offence if they haven’t been convicted.

and the court have specifically told you not to.

As others have said - if he has not been tried in a criminal court or admitted to the offence, then he hasn’t been found guilty. You are referring to criminal offences, where, in general, the legal standard of proof required is beyond a reasonable doubt. For a rape offence, there would normally be a trial by jury in Crown Court.

The Family Court finds fact and the the legal standard of proof is on the balance of probabilities. They can’t find him guilty.

I would avoid posting anything at all to social media.

You probably could write a book, blog etc., and reveal details, but only if you had permission from the court to disclose, if this was a private law case.

The Family Court is going through reform at the moment to be much more transparent. This includes allowing the media to start reporting on certain private law cases.

He hasn't been found guilty of anything. You can only be found guilty in a criminal court.

Your allegations have been found, on the balance of probabilities, to be true in a civil court where the burden of proof is lower (and in family court, exceptionally low). Basically it could be on as little as your say and his which would be entirely inadequate in a criminal court.

I'd be interested to hear from a fully qualified solicitor (I'm still training, in a very different area!) whether you would open yourself up to a libel case if you published too, where all the facts would be re-examined.

I am a qualified solicitor but I have minimal experience in family matters. If she publishes a book she may or may not be sued for defamation, but proving defamation depends on whether or not the allegations were true or the publisher reasonably believed them to be true and whether the allegations lowered the defamed person’s standing in the eyes of their peers. There is not enough information here to say whether or not a suit would be likely to be successful. Much less likely is that any one would take the risk producing the book and opening themselves up to the possibility of litigation.
What she would likely be though is in breach of a court order, unless she has the Court’s permission. Given the involvement of children in this case it would seem unlikely that a Court would give their permission as the children are likely unable to consent to waive their anonymity due to their age and capacity and I doubt a court would see that publishing the detail of abuse would be in their interests.
I would say the OP should immediately delete her posts from social media and seek further guidance from her own solicitor before landing herself in serious trouble.
I note the OP has said the police have decided to take no further action on any of the OP’s allegations. It would therefore seem very foolish for the OP to be broadcasting them without seeking further advice.

Ps of course the posting on social media may be defamatory, it doesn’t have to be in a published book or article.

@Eyerollcentral Thank you. What I was thinking was that a defamation suit may be possible which the OP. Basically having to relive the whole process again which would be terrible for her and the children and best avoided.

Defamation is v expensive to pursue so it may be the defamed person couldn’t afford to pursue it in any event but the OP needs to delete immediately and seek advice in any event. I understand her anger but she is potentially doing herself more harm with her actions.

Could you not anonymise anything you want to publish - I mean, your name as well as his, changing identifiable details and so on?

If the OP really thinks this is a good idea, a genuinely good idea, not a vehicle for her understandable anger, she needs legal advice on it. No one here can tell her if that’s wise or not.

Absolutely yes. And I fear the OP believes she has justice against her ex when she does not. He has not been found guilty of any crime and fact findings in family court can be very shaky. The court has presumably decided to take her word over her ex to safeguard the children just in case but it doesn't actually mean the court are entirely convinced these things happened, only that it's too big a risk to decide that they haven't.

The only way to get justice is through a prosecution.

Yes, which the police have declined to pursue on all the allegations. And again the court order prohibits publishing identifying details. The OP would need to tread very carefully. That’s not always easy to do when you are angry.

What you are saying legally makes no sense family court has not jurisdiction over rape and other criminal matters

Sure I presume the topic can be mentioned in court but no charges

And anyone to protect children stay off social media and giving private details online

Which would further corroborate my concern that the allegations are very flimsy indeed. The judge has only chosen to accept one version of events in preference to the other, which they can do with limited damage to the accused (outside of the divorce settlement) when everything is confidential.

Writing about it in breach of the court order could easily result in a defamation suit from an ex-partner looking for avenues to right a perceived wrong.

The Family Court can "fact find" on allegations of rape and abuse in cases relating to matters like occupation orders over the FMH and NMOs for example. "Fact finding" is not the same as a judgment in a criminal court, it is only based on the balance of probabilities. The OP must have had some evidence for the fact finding to stand, but it cannot be very strong evidence if the CPS won't prosecute.

It’s wiser not to comment any further on the police’s decision not to pursue, as unfortunately where charges are difficult to prove, such as the allegations set out by the OP, the police aren’t as keen to pursue as generally it’s he said, she said. The allegations don’t have to be flimsy for the police to NFA and NFA can be appealed often successfully. Not sure about easily result in a defamation case as the applicant would need to fund it and that’s easier said than done but certainly it seems unwise to do/have done any of the things the OP has.

Having been through family court and an abusive and plausible exh I seriously can't grasp why plastering your private business on sm is even in your thinking. 15 years later I still have no sm as I want my privacy.. Your dc do not need stuff written out there op.
Imo those who love you believe you and the rest surely don't matter?

Hello! Thanks for your comment. Yes one thing no one tells you until you go through these things is that getting convicted for rape is almost impossible and conviction rates are around 1.6%. Regarding the child abuse, I've complained because they didn't investigate and it's just excuse after excuse. I come from a family of police officers so didn't expect to have this sort of experience! Onto the IOPC I go...trying to get justice is a full time job. And it's exhausting.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to comment!🙏

Oh I really appreciate hearing how much we have different opinions! It's wonderful that you took the time to comment. For me, I do agree with what people are saying here - I haven't given my child the opportunity to disagree with me posting things. But for clarity, I've not badmouthed my ex or made posts about the situation, or what happened to her.

What happened was, I'm not from this country and came here 12 years ago. After fleeing domestic violence we were homeless and it was an awful situation where I needed help so this is how I posted about it...it was more of a roundabout way posting about ending up homeless in a foreign country and it's way more normal than we think.
Homeless people aren't just the people in the doorways at empty high street storefronts.

The other thing that I've found is by sharing what's happened to me, my friendships are closer and it's allowing others to be more open with things that they don't typically share. It's bitter sweet and I can't tell you there weren't moments I've questioned it but overall it was the right thing to do for me. :)

Op if you have said anything about the recent proceedings or allegations against your ex, delete it.