Feeling down does it get better

[beanstoast]

Hi there my wife and i have separated and its really got me down its been 6 weeks and i feel hollow and have had so many range of emotions from upset to angry to depressed, I try to exercise and i have started counselling as i no i had faults through our marriage and i want to change and get better but just feel so useless and a failure, I've left the marital home and feel alone, my wife seems ok with it all but hasn't taken any responsibility for the split saying was all my fault which doesn't help. sorry just waffling guess I'm looking for hope and to hear it gets better.
thanks

It gets better - much better.

It is a roller coaster at first i.e. not a linear recovery.

Exercise and generally getting a life being busy works to.

Why have you moved out of the marital home, if she is the unhappy one then.....?

Bit more background may help people with their advice e.g. ages, kids, length of marriage, reason wife feels this way, OM?, when did she change, how has she changed, chances of reconciliation etc.

(((beanstoast)))

sorry yes we have been together 7 years married 1 the news came 2 days before first anniversary we have no children but suffered a miscarriage in September of last year so the topic of children has been a major factor i believe as my wife wasn't 100% on the idea and since miscarriage i think she has blamed me for putting her in that situation then basically told me we are different paths and she wants to concentrate on work and herself, i moved out of the marital home as its in her name due to trouble i had when younger my credit is bad. I'm 42 and she is 37 i feel like I've lost a best friend as well as a wife as she has just gone cold on me only wishing to speak if it concerns our 2 cats. As previously said i asked her to go counselling as there are issues from both of us but she wont accept that she has them and just lays the blame at my door saying its a waste of money. she just switches off when there is a problem and puts up a wall she had eating issues and did same after miscarriage. thanks for any replies good or bad i just need help.

My heart goes out to you, it really does as somebody who has been there.

I am out the other side and all is good.

Please keep busy. Exercise and any things you can focus on.

Thank you for the background but with no kids perhaps best just let go.

Not want you want to hear but in my limited experience when a woman decides its over its a permanent thing.

Try to get something to focus on, set some targets.

Sorry I cant be more helpful. Do you have family and or friends to lean on? My Mum & Big Sis were rocks for me.

Just thought
Try divorcebusting com
A few experts on their forums, they might be able to help.
Helped me no end but a bit quieter now..

thanks for you reply yes my family have been great and i am trying to move on, ive realised there is no point blaming or being nasty to each other as it makes it harder as i was angry last week and that was probably the worst ive felt and reacted, ive joined meet up and am forcing myself to events i used to enjoy like walking and pool, i no i will be ok one day and people are right when they say it takes time i guess its just getting there.

I’m in the same situation my partner of 10years out the blue wants to leave he’s not happy etc. I’m bloody broken, I’ve started counselling I want him to join but he doesn’t want to. I’m 35 he’s 33 I’ve also joined a walking group. I feel my whole world is falling apart around me, the thought of loosing my house, my life is just killing me. Everyone says it gets easier but I can’t see through this dark cloud right now. I’ve lost a stone in 2 weeks. I just wish the days away

Hi Autumn

I've not been on much but thought i should answer as u seem lost like i was , its been a month on for me and while things aren't perfect i have come to accept and realise a few things about my ex relationship and although im not totally there i can see why it didn't work and now unless there was massive changes from us both i couldn't go back to it. Again I'm not saying everything is perfect but u will feel better just take it 1 day at a time just know every time that sun rises you will feel a little bit stronger so just take it day by day. i wont say anything more than that as you probably wont or cant see it now like i was but please believe me and everyone else when they say time heals. reach out to faily and friends and look after yourself. x

It is so stomach churning and awful, but you will get through it. It just takes a time… my ex H had an affair and wanted to be with the OW. I thought I would never get it. Part of me didn’t want to. I didn’t want to accept it.

Exercise helps get rid of that awful anxiety in your stomach, eat a little even if a struggle. Do things that make you feel good. Take comfort in your friends. Take one day at a time, deal with one thing at a time, so you are not overwhelmed.

you will get through this though I know it’s hard to see that now.