He wants to take kids

[Boppa12]

Half way through divorce. Husband has said when he gets his new home after divorce he is going to take the kids with him to live and they will see me?
Can I put anything in place so this doesnt happen. I want them to stay together and live with me but have a relationship but both parents of more of a 50/50 share care. But because the older ones are over 13 he said they will live with him and see me when they fancy as old enough to decide. This is the worst threat. And I dont know what to think.

If you are more of their carer right now, then that is your case - you are their main carer now and therefore it will be a change if it is their father. Sometimes I think a father will do this to throw his weight around, but it’s not about the kids and their needs. Is he going to be sorting out their uniforms, homework, liaising with the school, going to medical appointments, taking them to their friends and after school clubs?

With your 7 year old, personally I think 50/50 isn’t best a lot of the time, especially if one parent is only doing it to look like a parent but not really bE a parent.

Children need people to parent them well, and I have a lot of wariness around a parent who hasnt’ been doing that very much for all their lives suddenly turning around in divorce and saying that they will. If he was a 50/50 parent now, and really committed to it right now, before divorce, fair enough. But why is he suddenly going to change? He probably isn’t. So stick to your guns and do what’s best for your kids OP. That’s all you can do.

Holly, the children only want to live with him because he has virtually promised them the earth! They probably have absolutely no idea of what the reality of that decision will be. The 17 year old will be allowed at the age of 18 to do as he pleases and if he decides then to go and live with his dad then boppa won't be able to do anything about it. But the 13 and 7 year olds are way to young to make that kind of decision which is why boppa needs to take it to court. The court will see that the reason they want to live with him is because of how he is manipulating the children. As I said the court will make the best decision for the children and the contact order will then be enforceable - so if he doesn't bring them back when he should then boppa can take it back to court.

Best wishes xx

Do you have competent legal advice, @Boppa12 ?

You need to fight for 50/50, but you cannot do this on your own.

You probably will end up having to take this to court.

Courts are likely to allow a 13 year old to decide unless they believe they’d be at done level of harm