I'm part of a small group of friends. We have been close for a number of years. All of us have had our ups and downs in relationships but one of the group (Tracey) appears to be in an abusive relationship.
My friends and I have witnessed Tracey's husband shouting at her and their kids, belittling them. He is a perfectionist with impossible standards. He doesn't attempt to keep these standards himself but the rest of the household must. He gaslights her saying she is using him as an emotional punchbag when we have witnessed quite the opposite.
The children have asked us to help their mum. It was very upsetting to hear a 7 year old saying he wishes Daddy would leave and they would have a happy house.
Tracey has been struggling with health problems. Her husband not only doesn't help make things better. If anything, he goes out if his way to make things worse.
She was in bed with covid. He spontaneously, went off on a week long golfing trip, leaving her with the kids whilst he was ill.
She says she wants to work things out. That he has depression and anxiety. She is too worried about what he would do to himself if they split. He has previously said he would kill himself if they did part ways.
We can see how badly this is affecting both her and the children. Actually even the dogs are on edge!
I don't really know what we can do. We have tried speaking to her and telling her we will help. She could easily be financially independent. She also basically does everything for the kids herself. We would help. She won't entertain leaving. She is just hoping things get better. I can't see it myself. Has anybody got any advice apart from waiting for her to fall apart and being there to put her back together again.
We have spoken to the school to get support for the kids. Social services didn't seem interested as they thought the kids weren't in immediate danger.
It is awful just watching her get dragged further down.