Page 2 | Moving my savings so they can't be taken in a divorce

2023Divorce · 2023-02-16T20:20:10+00:00

Thank you to everyone who replied to my previous post; I still haven't worked out how to reply to individual comments! But thank you! I have another question, about money. I've got some savings that I've built up over the past 15 years or so. I want to avoid him taking any of that money in the divorce, which seems tight of me, but .. I don't know. I feel like I squirrelled away a little bit whenever I could and I don't know why I should hand it over! But; if I moved the money to my parents' account, how long ago would that need to have happened for it *not* to be considered a sneaky move on my part, as it were?! I don't want to move the money if it won't make any difference, and I especially don't want to move it if it would be highlighted as an underhand move if it was discovered during the divorce. Many thanks!

saraclara · 16/02/2023 23:28

Grumpsy · 16/02/2023 23:23

Someone please explain to me why OP isn’t being heavily chastised when if this question was being asked by a man trying to hide assets from his wife in a divorce he’d be torn to bits…

100% that. I can't believe that people are advising OP on how to prevent her DH having access to this, when any man who tried to hide or spend money that his wife would be entitled to a share of would be eviscerated on here.

MN sexism is rampant again.

MrsKeats · 16/02/2023 23:31

I can't believe you are asking this.
Morally bankrupt.

peeweechigs · 16/02/2023 23:38

Does it change the answers if the husband spent the last ten years merrily buying whatever he liked when he liked and plenty of alcohol every week and the wife lived frugally and squirrelled away every penny for precisely this scenario so she had enough money that leave?

NumberTheory · 16/02/2023 23:49

If it's your money and your parents are just looking after it, it doesn't matter when you transfer it. Even if it were a decade before you divorced, legally you would still be breaking the law when you failed to mention it in your list of assets.

NumberTheory · 16/02/2023 23:53

peeweechigs · 16/02/2023 23:38

Does it change the answers if the husband spent the last ten years merrily buying whatever he liked when he liked and plenty of alcohol every week and the wife lived frugally and squirrelled away every penny for precisely this scenario so she had enough money that leave?

Squirreling money away so you have enough to afford to pay your expenses while you leave and pursue a divorce is totally different from squirreling money away and failing to declare it as part of your assets when you come to a financial settlement.

And legally, no, it doesn't matter if he's been spending freely during the marriage while you can't. You'd still be breaking the law if you lie on the forms.

Grumpsy · 16/02/2023 23:53

@peeweechigs in my opinion no it does not. Because of a husband did the same thing in the sane scenario they would be vilified.

plus what the op is suggesting is neither legal or morally right.

thelionthewitchtheaudacityofTHISbitch · 16/02/2023 23:55

I believe the biggest con that my ex-H (so male) pulled when conning me during our divorce settlement was to set his new mortgage payment very high. It was a very expensive property bought with the OW (so difficult to challenge her income and financial contribution to the property). So the mortgage payment of £10k per month (split between them) for a £1.7mill property didnt look unreasonable. Looked consistent over the 12 months so no challenge suggested by my legal team. However I now know that figure reduced. A lot. There were plenty of other cons pulled - this is the one that nags even now.

Grumpsy · 16/02/2023 23:55

@peeweechigs also if the money is being used to fund the divorce proceedings or legal fees, that’s another matter, but op is deliberately trying to hide assets to avoid it being part of the divorce settlement.

FloydPepper · 16/02/2023 23:58

Grumpsy · 16/02/2023 23:23

Someone please explain to me why OP isn’t being heavily chastised when if this question was being asked by a man trying to hide assets from his wife in a divorce he’d be torn to bits…

because It’s ok for women to hide assets but not men. On mumsnet anyway.

Grumpsy · 17/02/2023 00:00

FloydPepper · 16/02/2023 23:58

because It’s ok for women to hide assets but not men. On mumsnet anyway.

Show quote history

Where as in the real world outside of mumsnet we strive for equality, or at least I’d hope, not a have your cake and eat it scenario.

Hawkins003 · 17/02/2023 00:00

ElliF · 16/02/2023 23:07

If really Depends on how much we’re talking about.
£100K is much harder to deal with and £20K, and if you were talking about £5K I don’t imagine you’d have posted the question.

And we don’t know if this is going to be an acrimonious divorce or a mutually agreeable solution for all. But given that you have asked the question, I can only assume that you already expect this to go to court, discovery, and all that jazz.

There has to be someone here that is good a problem solving, but let’s just run with it....

Mrs A is getting divorced. It’s nasty. Knives out at the kitchen table. Lots of shouting. Mrs A is scared. Mrs A hires someone she knows and trusts to protect her, just in case she has an accident you understand. She pays Mr B £2000 a week, and so as not to enrage the scary Mr A, she uses her emergency fund, which of course is exactly why we have emergency funds, for when emergencies like this happen.

Now, I have no idea how Mr B squares this with the tax man, but if Mr B becomes so enamoured with Mrs A’s children and should make them a monetary gift, for their education you understand, or to help them on the property ladder, I don’t imagine that would be an issue, especially if it didn’t happen until after the divorce were finalised.

And if challenged Mr B says he was indeed contracted to work for Mrs A, but that having not encountered any physical threat from Mr A, and having met DCs, he had just divided he wished to pay it forward, because that’s what good people do.

...

Likewise, if you begin to experience electrical faults in your car, the ones that are intermittent and you can’t trace them, you may no longer feel safe driving DCs around at night in the car. You may find it safer for yourself and your children to buy a new car with a good reputation for safety. Something German maybe with the sort of price on has to spend for solid German engineering.

Then old car you gave to a friend, because she needs one and her husband happens to know about these things. You wouldn’t trust it again yourself, but they know about these things and if they choose to trust it, that’s their decision to make. It’s a gift. That are struggling and you were going to scrap it anyways.

The fact that after the divorce you decide you don’t like the new car and put it on the market, bought as new, 1 lady driver, 408miles on the clock, and your friend begs you to take your old car back, because it’s so you, and you have so many memories, and her husband has given it a thorough check over and there’s truly nothing wrong with it.

...

There are so many games one can play if your inside of your 2 year window.

I was thinking running it through eBay but the listings are from friends or family ect

Mojoyoyo · 17/02/2023 00:02

You could withdraw it all bit by bit in cash.
Id say maybe at least over a couple of years for not to be obvious.
You can also “owe” your mum and transfer to her?

ElliF · 17/02/2023 01:14

Mojoyoyo · 17/02/2023 00:02

You could withdraw it all bit by bit in cash.
Id say maybe at least over a couple of years for not to be obvious.
You can also “owe” your mum and transfer to her?

If you have the time to circle it out of the account, do it that way, but how much are we talking about? Drawing £250 every couple of days and having a secret gambling habit would explain where it went.

Owing Mom money may require her to submit a signed statement and risk perjury on her daughters behalf.

Knowing that her future financial stability is at threat, could she start her own company and employ someone completely unrelated to her? She would own the company, but the company is an independent entity in law, so they would not be able to wind the company up of remove the company’s assets. Even if the money was on the books as a directors loan, they wouldn’t be able to remove the funds, particularly if there were another director who did not agree (I went into business with my friend. We manufacture dentures for canines. It’s gonna be big business, but we’re still trying to sort out the manufacturing process with our supplier in China.) They also couldn’t do anything that threatened the livelihood of an employee of the company.

...

Incidentally, I would give the same advice to men. The difference being, with a man I’d suggest they just hand in their notice, go down to London, open an account with a foreign bank, transfer all their assets into it, and FO abroad with their cash to start anew. The excuse would be, I was offered a job abroad, and I took it.

...

I’m completely impartial here. People should never enter into an agreement or a contract with people they do not trust, and that goes for men and women. The difference being than men are able to be mobile in a crisis, whilst women are encumbered with their offspring.

ElliF · 17/02/2023 01:26

Hawkins003 · 17/02/2023 00:00

I was thinking running it through eBay but the listings are from friends or family ect

Show quote history

The car I think has some merit if it’s looks at froma a lot more angles, but realistically maybe a lot of little things that all have reasonable explanations and the ability to reverse and recover the funds after the event may be the more prudent way to go. That way you could argue that the other side are just picking holes in everything you are doing to, and all your decisions were reasonable in nature. Look your honour. I needed a new car and I bought a 5yo Honda Civic for £10K. It’s safe and reliable. It’s not like I bought a new car, or a second hand Mercedes. I wanted a 4x4 or an electric vehicle, but I was being reasonable your honour.
A new washing machine that you later sell on Gumtree off £400.
Cash withdrawals, because you’ve taken to gambling to take your mind off the stress. Please feel free to search my home. I have no cash stashed away in my freezer.

Newnamenewme23 · 17/02/2023 01:27

Dh’s ex did it. Emptied their joint accounts and other savings. She also had the house remortgaged.

courts didn’t bat an eyelid. Just said the money was gone and they couldn’t do much about it.

help if you’re the one instigating the divorce as you can get rid of the money before you tell your partner you want a divorce.

America12 · 17/02/2023 02:09

Grumpsy · 16/02/2023 23:23

Someone please explain to me why OP isn’t being heavily chastised when if this question was being asked by a man trying to hide assets from his wife in a divorce he’d be torn to bits…

Quite

Liorae · 17/02/2023 02:10

peeweechigs · 16/02/2023 23:38

Does it change the answers if the husband spent the last ten years merrily buying whatever he liked when he liked and plenty of alcohol every week and the wife lived frugally and squirrelled away every penny for precisely this scenario so she had enough money that leave?

No, it doesn't.

Pyewhacket · 17/02/2023 02:40

I’m sure an awful lot of men would like to know too.

SD1978 · 17/02/2023 03:49

Would/ will you be ok is he hides assets from you, because that's money he's built up? If not, then I don't think you should, sorry.

Nat6999 · 17/02/2023 04:09

Could you pay back a "loan" to your parents? I know everything is supposed to be equal when you get divorced but in reality it never is. I won £8k on online bingo the week before I left exh, he was cheeky enough to want half of it, I blew the lot on clothes & home stuff for me & ds because I knew he would be an arsehole about me getting our stuff after I left.

Timeforachange2023 · 17/02/2023 07:55

ElliF · 17/02/2023 01:14

If you have the time to circle it out of the account, do it that way, but how much are we talking about? Drawing £250 every couple of days and having a secret gambling habit would explain where it went.

Owing Mom money may require her to submit a signed statement and risk perjury on her daughters behalf.

Knowing that her future financial stability is at threat, could she start her own company and employ someone completely unrelated to her? She would own the company, but the company is an independent entity in law, so they would not be able to wind the company up of remove the company’s assets. Even if the money was on the books as a directors loan, they wouldn’t be able to remove the funds, particularly if there were another director who did not agree (I went into business with my friend. We manufacture dentures for canines. It’s gonna be big business, but we’re still trying to sort out the manufacturing process with our supplier in China.) They also couldn’t do anything that threatened the livelihood of an employee of the company.

...

Incidentally, I would give the same advice to men. The difference being, with a man I’d suggest they just hand in their notice, go down to London, open an account with a foreign bank, transfer all their assets into it, and FO abroad with their cash to start anew. The excuse would be, I was offered a job abroad, and I took it.

...

I’m completely impartial here. People should never enter into an agreement or a contract with people they do not trust, and that goes for men and women. The difference being than men are able to be mobile in a crisis, whilst women are encumbered with their offspring.

Show quote history

What planet do you live on?

STARCATCHER22 · 17/02/2023 08:22

peeweechigs · 16/02/2023 23:38

Does it change the answers if the husband spent the last ten years merrily buying whatever he liked when he liked and plenty of alcohol every week and the wife lived frugally and squirrelled away every penny for precisely this scenario so she had enough money that leave?

I love when posters write their own version of events to justify situations. A+ on the creative writing skills… shame there’s no evidence in the OP to suggest you’re in any way correct…

vivaespanaole · 17/02/2023 08:47

A car would be classed as an asset and need to be valued and listed.

It then formed part of our negotiations I
Kept the higher value car and he kept the lower value one but got X as well.

Buy gift cards to set up your new life. You could even but then for wherever you food shop/normally buy the kids clothes. And then do a switch out when divorce settles. Use your gift card that week to buy the grocers and put your wages that week back into savings and rebuild your nest egg.

Whilst it is frustrating and galling. Do think about how you would feel if he did the same.

WinterFoxes · 17/02/2023 09:02

Can't it be used for legitimate separation fees - that's what it an escape fund is for. Pay 12 months in advance rental on a new place to live and spend the rest on a very good solicitor. And buy some good classic clothes and shoes now, that will last a long time.

Newlifestartingatlast · 17/02/2023 09:56

Not declaring truthfully, or trying to hide assets by moving them, is a criminal
offence

it breaks the law in 2 ways

fraud - you are defrauding your partner by not being truthful
comtempt of court- the FORM E and D81 is required to be completed by a court of law. It is a legal process. Your signature that signs your declaration states to the court that this is the whole truth. Signing it whilst knowingly lying is contempt of court - just the same as if you lied as a witness . Courts don’t take kindly to that at all, and if found out your husband would probably be given preferential treatment for settlement claims he’d otherwise not be given.

if you want to break the law and committ a criminal act (well 2) , that’s up to you , but would you come on here and try to argue that it is your right to rob a house and steal money?

nobody Forced you to marry. When you married which part of ALL your assets become marital assets did you not understand?