Clean break?

[MermaidDreams83]

I've been thinking for a long time about separating from my OH. For so many reasons we've been together since I was 16 and I am approaching 40 this year and want to regain happiness in my life. We have to children 5 and 9.

My father passed away two years ago and his flat has sold, after sharing amount with my brother I will be receiving just shy of £25k.

I've had discussions with my husband where he has suggested pay him 20k and he will leave, he'll leave me in the house and the 20k allows him to start afresh (renting I'd presume) this looks like a clean break opportunity no living together but apart etc and just wanted other opinions?

I'm under no doubt he wound pay child
Maintenance and see the children regularly.

Sorry should have said I pay all bills and mortgage so I can cope financially without him

There are processes that exist which would formalise this arrangement and protect both of you. There is a lot at stake and neither of you should make a decision about this type of money without being fully informed.

Be clear I’m not saying he is trying to take advantage. But you are hanging over £20k without a financial order. It won’t necessarily lift his entitlement to a share of the equity or ownership of the house a few years down the line during a divorce.

What does he really mean by taking the £20k and letting you stay in the house. Is this for the separation period or for ever. Will he still have ownership of the house. Because until you get a financial order from a court he will always have an interest or claim.

Peoples financial circumstances change and then they become far less generous because they have to.

Book some mediation. Start listing your assets for disclosure. Get some independent legal advice on entitlement. People can resolve all of this properly for a couple of £1000. Which saves a lot of money further down the line. It also saves a lot of arguments further down the line.

You need to speak to a solicitor, as soon as possible.

Don’t pay anything without a financial order in place. You can start this process very quickly if you’re both in agreement with a plan to put forward.
Ive known some to be written up and signed off by a judge within a matter of weeks

Thank you for the advice, yes I don't think I should hand over the money until something legal is drawn up but the idea of him moving out and finally being able to breathe is very appealing thanks everyone

Oh and it would a forever move for sure

The something legal has to be a financial order. Anything else puts the £20k at risk. He could spend it in months and then come looking for equity.

So is my first step is mediation or a solicitor?

I don't know for sure but I sould say solicitor first & asap.

It's good that the thought of him leaving has made you feel better, to me this means it's definitely what you want.

That being said - protect yourself and the money & make everything legal. Just because he probably won't screw you over doesn't mean he definitely won't.

Good luck!

Agreed, thought of him out fills me with peace, first thing I'll do is burn the bloody doors he's kept dining room and sitting room apart, so it's his space!!! My house would look amazing if I took them doors off not to mention extra space! I'll reach out to a solicitor this week as a starter for ten thank you

How much equity is in the house you currently own?

I have no idea we've lived here 9 years fixed rate been good, it stops this year :(

Work out how much your house is worth, find out how much your mortgage is. The difference between is the equity.

All your assets and debts should be takeninti account, so any loans, credit cards, and savings.

See a solicitor, it could be fairly straightforward but you need a financial order, there are two parts to divorce, thats one and the other is the dissolution of the marriage contract.