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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Can STBXH have value of wedding/engagement ring included in list of all our assets ?

36 replies

patjesspatjess · 09/02/2023 23:40

For added detail, wedding ring was originally patterned (engraved geometric pattern) but has worn almost smooth over the length of our marriage and the engagement ring has been minus its actual stone for some years now but I managed to hide this fact from him so as not to have to suffer his inevitable irritation and anger over the situation. The surrounding couple of "chips" are so truly tiny as to be of negligible value.

Also, my knuckles swelled with each pregnancy, and both rings would need to be cut off thereby massively reducing their value further.

If the value is included this just means that I would get a lower share of our joint savings all because I have these battered/damaged items stuck on my finger which he believes are of such material value that I'm now expected to get a professional valuation on them.

I'm so embarrassed at the thought of having to even approach a local jeweller to ask for a "valuation", it'll be humiliating given the state of them. They're not antique, they were brand new roughly 20 years ago and I've never taken them off so they've had a huge amount of wear and tear.

It's the latest in a steady stream of demands made via his solicitor in connection with declaring the total value of all of our assets.

I'm in tears over his grabby attitude to the whole divorce process.

OP posts:
SkyHippoOnACloud · 09/02/2023 23:59

He probably has a better car than you, a car that's worth more than your ring. Claim half (minus the ring)? Ask how much your local "cash for gold" place or pawn shop would give you, that's its value. So sorry your ex is a knob. 💐

In fact, sell it to such a place, spend the money on food (which nobody can argue isn't essential) then you don't have an asset to argue over. Just keep the receipt for both transactions.

GrumpyPanda · 10/02/2023 00:05

Totally ridiculous. Quite aside from their physical state, conventional engagement rings are never worth more than a fraction of what they cost to buy, there just isn't a market for them.

Although I'd be sorely tempted to accept his valuation for them and enter them on his side of the equation. Surely he can't expect you to hang on to something symbolizing your union with such an utter cretin?

Fizzadora · 10/02/2023 00:10

Isn't an engagement ring a gift in anticipation of marriage. You fulfilled your part of the bargain didn't you? You married the knob.
I would get them cut off tomorrow and donate them to him. He can have the full value. Knob!

HeddaGarbled · 10/02/2023 00:10

Say £50. If he wants to challenge that, he can arrange a valuation. I’d get them cut off, though.

QueueEtwo · 10/02/2023 00:21

I too would get them cut off & give them him back & take the savings!

determinedtomakethiswork · 10/02/2023 00:22

Yes, get them cut off and sell him the pieces.

LorW · 10/02/2023 00:26

I’d just get them cut off and hand them over to him, he won’t get much. 😂

samqueens · 10/02/2023 00:36

Do you have a solicitor? If so I hope they won’t entertain this kind of nonsense on your behalf.

BetterFuture1985 · 10/02/2023 08:11

It's relevant in a "needs" case in the same way as inheritances become relevant (i.e. they're not normally split but might be assumed to reduce the needs of one of the spouses). The ring is yours as a gift, but its value can be assumed to go towards funding your needs.

Pr0fessionalLurker · 10/02/2023 08:13

Get them off, give them to him. Then say you want half the value.

BetterFuture1985 · 10/02/2023 08:17

Pr0fessionalLurker · 10/02/2023 08:13

Get them off, give them to him. Then say you want half the value.

They could just sell them and chuck the money in the escrow account for the split.

AngelinaFibres · 10/02/2023 08:45

I sold my wedding ring after my divorce (1997). It was only worth the weight of the gold. It was a long time ago but I seem to remember I got £12.00 for it and a couple of other small things he had given me. My children and I went to McDonald's and had a happy meal each. I took my engagement ring back to the posh shop in Cheltenham to see if they would give me anything to buy it back. It was an antique ring, pretty but not large. She couldn't have looked more horrified if I had held out a dog turd. Apparently they didn't sell anything like that anymore. That sold for the weight of the gold too. If I were you ,and divorcing the Prince of a husband you clearly have, I would have them cut off and just send them to him. It's not worth the fight.

ditalini · 10/02/2023 08:51

Most rings are only worth the value of the gold for scrap.

The value has nothing to do with the insurance value (if that's what he's thinking) because that's about replacement cost not selling.

Check the current selling price of gold and give him an estimate based on that.

LemonTT · 10/02/2023 10:09

A wedding ring would be worth scrap. If you know the carat then look up the weight of a comparable sized one and then use that to calculate scrap.

same for the engagement ring, again minimal research will demonstrate they aren’t worth squat. The quality of diamonds etc is usually poor unless you spent very large when it was bought.

You are probably looking at a couple of hundred pounds. Even if they cost thousands.

These are not assets and yes cut them off and send them to him. It’s not like you will keep them.

My advice on jewellery is ask for something that will hold its value and can be resold. My Tennis bracelet is worth more now than when it was bought as a present.

GremlinDolphin4 · 13/02/2023 17:47

ive been through this! They were a gift so not relevant but if he wants to get the value he can pay the valuation fee, my ring was £3k new 20 years ago, in the 100s now. He’s just trying it on! Ignore and stand firm. Xxxx

CoffeeTaster · 13/02/2023 17:49

Cut them off. Get them cut in two. Give him half of each ring and you keep half.

HerbalTeaAndCake · 13/02/2023 18:31

Sell them op & say you lost them. Problem solved.

Spanielsarepainless · 13/02/2023 18:47

I kept mine as they were given to me. They weren't our rings, they were mine!

Buttercookiee · 13/02/2023 18:54

I was told both are a gift of marriage and belong to the wife unless he had a ring too

Greedy b@rstard

RoseAndRose · 13/02/2023 18:58

<misses point>

How on earth did you manage to hide the missing stone from him for several years?

AmandaHoldensLips · 13/02/2023 19:00

Have them cut off, give them back and tell him to shove them up his arse.

ElfDragon · 13/02/2023 19:08

Assets need to be listed. If the rings are worth anything (some are) then they should be valued. Generally, isn’t it items over £500 that need to be listed? Although jewellery can be valued as a whole, rather than individual items.

my exH made me value all my jewellery, so wedding/engagement rings were included in that. He, of course, declined to value any of his (cuff links, watches, etc) and just stated ‘of little value’ and wouldn’t budge from that. It’s honestly pathetic.

FlippyFloppyShoe · 13/02/2023 19:08

Honestly unless you are Tamara eccleston or a member of the royal family, they will be worth diddly squat. I think I was offered £150 by a joker in a jewelry shop for mine, but remember, the lower the offer the better (as long as they put it in writing).
In a divorce...generally one party is trying to value things they don't own/control as high as they can to get the most money out and one party is trying to minimise to retain as much as they can.

mathanxiety · 13/02/2023 19:14

The rings are your personal property. They were never intended as joint assets.

The engagement ring was by definition yours before you married.

The wedding ring - what is the moment of marriage? If you got your ring before you signed the register then that was before it was official too.

FlippyFloppyShoe · 13/02/2023 19:15

Honestly my experience is whomever blinks first loses in the divorce. What I mean by this is the more you comply and detail your form E the more you have to lose. Put the minimum down until you see theirs and see how much they have put down, you can amend it later. My ex didn't bother with the deadline at all, waited to see what I had put on then took another week to concoct his. Judge said nothing.