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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

the narcisist

6 replies

offtherecord · 09/02/2023 22:29

hi im trying to divorce a narcisist, for a while now, he left me though not long after he promised the earth and more so much so we moved house, taken on a bigger mortgage then bang within weeks he makes up an argument then uses that as his excuse to leave, im not so bothered he has gone but ive since been told he has been seeing a woman for years now. so all this move was planned to put me in the most difficult position ever.
He controlled everything i am in contact with many organisations but i need help with the coping with him side through solicitors etc, he jhas decided everything so far i am not well so cannot work, i have no family and are so far away from friends now, he has blackened my name overall, with everyone.
i am not fully aware of the outcome i face we own the house together but i have no money to pay for the solicitors and he keeps moving the goal posts evertime oi try make a decision or a compromise, the police are aware of things he has done now and in the past i have been so foolish to believe him in the first place, he moves the goalposts so i have to keep responding and paying all over again.
although i am in to with these organisations they are limited to the help they can give. i feel utterly helpless.
The lies he has told you, couldnt make them up he controls all the payments from the house, a good thing you may think but hell it isn't its so if i don't do what he demands he will send them back umpaid he has stolen money out of my account, he wants to get in the house, i am terrified of him, i am alone and with mobility issues to boot.
i have laid out a few suggestions he has all his clothes computers personnal stuff but demands more items which i am ok with some of them but i suggest taking them to somewhere he can collect from or outside the house, nothing is good enough, the lists he has given changes with the weather. i know he wants a reaction from me he hasn't got any, i want no contact with him at all, he manipulates everyone and everything he comes close to, i don't feel like i have any choices, he wants me dead so he can have everything for himself. can someone guide me, please don't suggest any organisations i have been to them all. i am getting a place where i am thinking i would be better of dead.
He planned all of this, i have no feelings of him with another woman, none what so ever. so i am not in any way jealous, im grateful but i am entitled to a home to live in but he wants me out of that to.

OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 09/02/2023 22:38

I highly recommend this podcast regarding divorcing a narcissist.
open.spotify.com/show/3s6D1NBgOKYHFBZhe27Ye4?si=5fE5vITDRhqgkO6zluw3yQ

offtherecord · 12/02/2023 13:33

hi and thank you but i am not good with computers and signing up for things so i cannot get on to it

OP posts:
Twinkle6 · 13/02/2023 04:39

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

greenspaces4peace · 13/02/2023 04:55

@offtherecord are you married to this man, how long and any children?
is your name on the deeds or mortgage?
how much is it worth, how much equity is in the house? Did you help with the deposit?
all this info will help those that are more knowledgeable explain the likely outcome.

offtherecord · 19/02/2023 21:37

married for 9 yrs together for 20 my name is on the mortgage, no children well no undr the age of 20 anyway. mortgage of 70k equity of 200k. i did help with the deposit as my council house i earned the deposit for that by paying rent before he was on the scene, so he had a really cheap mortgage for yrs. he didnt earn any of it there couldnt be a pre nup done for that as they didnt exist then.

OP posts:
Rainbow246 · 05/04/2023 16:39

I went through a 3 year Divorce with a Narricist who would only agree to Divorce if I paid for it all. He was found guilty of processing indecent images of children as young as 18months. He claimed he had a porn addiction that got out of hand. His Dad is a defence solicitor and got him off extremely lightly with an online awareness course to complete and being on the sex offenders register for 5 years; which he's off of now and has the same parental rights as me. He sees my daughter,
10, unsupervised now and she's starting to ask Q's about why she can now see Dad on his own without the previous supervision who were his Parents. Me and my partner are at a loss really of how to tell her, ideally before secondary school in September. The case was placed under a gagging order to protect ex Father in laws reputation, so no media would cover it. Any advice??

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