Mortgage in principle - What now?

[tuttifritti]

We are 1 year into our separation and have been through financial mediation and had broadly agreed a few principles before the mini budget. Since then mortgages have changed as we know but I have secured a mortgage in principle to buy out stbxh.
The amount I am offering would break the ceiling of our road and would be above the current market rate. We are splitting the equity of the house 50/50 and I will leave his larger pension untouched. No maintenance to be paid by either side. I have an investment from outside the marriage and he has an inheritance from inside the marriage. These we will also leave untouched.

We are all still in the family home.

STBXH disputes the value and wants over £100k above the next most expensive house sold on our road (terraced housing). I am paying for a RICS valuation but if we cannot agree on a reasonable price for the house what are my options?

1. Put the house in the market at his fantasy price and wait months for nothing to happen while my mortgage offers expire?
2. Pursue the legal route?
3. Something I've not thought of?

I feel like he is finding excuses not to leave ever.

Appreciate you taking the time to give me any advice and experiences please.

Have you had three estate agents come to value it?

Mortgage rates seem to be peaking so it might not be terrible if your offer did expire. House prices are unlikely to go up in the short term.

Hi.....

Have you had a valuation carried out on the property, a solicitor would probably advise you to do so.

Yes, we have had about six wildly varying valuations from estate agents. He did four and I did 2 but that was all pre-mini budget so I have been advised to get a proper valuation from a surveyor as a mortgage company as I feel this will be a more sensible approach.

The thing is, even if my mortgage offer expiring is a good thing we just seem at a dreadful impasse...

Has anyone successfully got there xh to leave? If so, how did you do it?

You really need to get up to date valuations, the market has changed a lot since September.

But yes if he won’t leave, you’ll need to go down the legal route.

Doesn't sound like an equal split. Maybe it's time to re-open some of these other items, like pensions, to scare some sanity into him?

Well the obvious other option is for you to leave (move house). I understand that you currently don't want to, but if over time getting stbxh out of the house won't materialise, you may start to want to consider leaving yourself. I couldn't get my ex to leave so I left myself (with kids), it wasn't easy but it was preferable to endless misery under the same roof.

I'm open to leaving but would still need to liquidise my share of the equity to move on so would have to take some legal action if he is not prepared to see reason on a valuation.

Yes, it's not really an even split. I have tried to work towards ensuring we have what we need but he seems determined that I should pay him an extra £20k on top of half of the value of the house to cover his moving costs even though I would be taking on a larger mortgage than him.

DP was in same position, ex would not agree value so got 3 done (well 8 actually) calculated the average and made an offer based on that. They didnt agree so DP submitted form A after failed mediation and literally day before court hearing the ex settled (didnt want to expose bogus benefit claims etc) nothing quite like being summoned to court to focus the mind of people unwilling to negotiate. Good Luck

Thanks Rose, that is really useful. Thank you