Should I buy into a share of my exes house so daughter can be close by?

[pianogirl79]

Oh, this is complicated, which is partly why I'm posting as Google has no advice!

Divorced two years ago, amicable, kind of. We have a 12 year old daughter with autism. I bought ex out of family home which is in a village where DDs school and friends are. Ex moved to a cheap flat a few miles away in town. He hates it.

He can't afford to buy a house in our village but I think DD would really benefit from having her two homes a short walk away.

She struggles with executive functioning and if after school club cancelled etc has often just frozen on street when she's too early for her dad to pick her up and not enough common sense to come wait at mine etc. and won't use her mobile as she's terrified of it.

I inherited a small sum which I could use to buy a third of a nearby property in walking distance with ex buying the other two thirds with the sale of his town flat

I feel this would be a great situation for DD but should I get tied into a property with ex? Ultimately DD will inherit property as she's an only child.

I know there will be loads of legal issues to cover like who gets to decide when to sell, how can he buy me out or if he can't afford just rent the 1/3 from me etc...

Getting so bogged down in what to do to help our DD whilst preserving my sanity with ex. Anyone been in a similar situation?!

I have no legal advice OP. But wanted to say you should be so proud of your sensible approach to co-parenting and putting your daughters needs first.

I think I would just speak with a legal representative who specialises in property, because realistically this probably happens fairly frequently (parents buying parts of children's houses, kids buying parts of parents houses, siblings helping siblings etc etc). I'm sure you will manage to find a solution!

You can sort that with a deed of trust

own as tenants in common
set out share / % you both own
parameters/triggers for sale

a solicitor should be able to advise you both

Ultimately DD will inherit property as she's an only child.

Well, she'll inherit your third of the property but there's no guarantee your ex will leave her his share.....

Can you be certain that he will not marry or father other children? If he is willing to say that he would want her to inherit his share of the property , you might speak to attorney about some form of irrevocable trust. Putting the asset in trust for her could have some have some potentially restrictive impact on the 2 of you and perhaps on her ability to qualify later in her life for some forms of governmental assistance related to her disability. You would definitely need legal advice on this issue.

Are you in a position to purchase outright a nearby property that you could rent to him?

You best bet is to get proper legal advice before entering into any type of financial situation that could later be impacted by a change in his marital or paternity status.

Thank you everyone for your replies. Guess I need to go and get some legal advice. And continue to put up with the ex in order to coparent peacefully

I don’t think you should co own a home with your ex. The complication won’t benefit your daughter if resentment arises. This would need to be clean and you need to be able to stand back from the arrangement. For example are you going to be ok with him living there with a new partner and children ?

I would look for a way for the share to be owned by your daughter under a trust. But you need to be hands and opinion off.