New partner and buying ex from our home

[Emj86]

Hello,

Im looking for some advice as I can’t get a solicitors appointment until next week and I’m so confused and stressed over it all.

I have two boys under 10 with my ex, we split over a year ago but haven’t started with divorce proceedings as he was unwilling until he had his share of the house or it was sold.

We agreed that I would stay in the jointly mortgaged home with the boys for the time being and he currently rents a property. He has the boys over night once a week which is all he will have them and he pays half of what he should in maintenance. I pay for the house and all the bills.

He has been pushing me to sell the house or buy him out for months now. I don’t want to sell the house as my eldest is starting high school this year and this will be a huge upheaval for him, my youngest also has SEN.

Me and my new partner have discussed this in depth and he would like to buy my ex out of the house. As it stands the figure would be about 50k which he has, there shouldn’t be any reason why the mortgage company wouldn’t accept him taking over my ex’s share of the mortgage either.

Im sure my ex would be happy with this as he would have his money. (We don’t have any other assets and have no intentions of going for each others pensions) however if my new partner bought him out and was named on the mortgage would my ex then be able to make a claim on the house in the future or when the divorce goes through even though he has his share already And would he be able to claim on the money my new partner has put in?

Any advice is much appreciated.

Yes you need legal advice. Usually you would not sell the house until you have an agreement regarding finances. And if you mingle your new partner’s finances with yours he will potentially be able to claim a larger share of the assets. Is your new partner living with you? And is your Ex also living with a new partner? The partners income could be taken into account.

how have you arrived at the £50k figure? What percentage of the assets does this represent?

Get divorced first.
You've only been with your new partner a year. I'd be really wary about committing financially to someone at this stage.
If you do, ensure your own investment is ringfenced.
But either way, not until you're divorced and have a consent order.
You can start the divorce proceedings online yourself, then see a solicitor for help with the financial split. It may well not be 50-50, and will include everything (pensions etc) so you might be able to wangle more house for less pension.
And use CMS to get the full amount of maintenance - or at least tell him you will do if he doesn't cough up. Why should you and the boys suffer?

Bloody hell you're moving fast with your new partner. I don't know the legal ins and outs but you've just been through a situation where you've found that sharing all your worldly assets with a bloke doesn't always work out. Why the rush to do so again?

You need a financial consent order with divorce then what you are talking about could potentially be agreed and signed off by court. Nothing good usually comes from stalling in a divorce. Best to crack on with it and face facts.

Im surprised your ex hasn't started divorce proceedings but if he hasn't maybe you should. Financial wranglings etc all part of the divorce process and best to use a solicitor. You and your ex should both be getting legal advice.

I think there is something called tenants in common where 2 people can have different shares of a property so perhaps that is what you need with your new partner - again a solicitor can advise. If you are happy with your partner and trust him i would ignore any doom mongering, life is short and if this new partner is willing to financially commit to you and you trust him then follow what you feel is right whilst protecting ypur assets and your kids. Life with 2 salaries is usually easier than life with one.

That’s moving very fast with two young boys to consider. You really need to be sorting the divorce out first before you do anything like this and why would you want to entangle your finances with someone so soon, let alone before you’ve even untangled them. You need legal advice asap

Until you get a clean break consent order ( not divorce) you are financially linked

either one if you could make future claims against the other in that case

in regards to the house you could give him 50k now but in a year, or more or whenever, he still has a claim, eg if value increased, if his own circumstances change etc he could try to get more.

get the divorce and financial settlement first before entwining yourself with a new partner !

As most people have said, the financials are usually sorted out with the divorce. I bought my ex out and we agreed on all the financials at the time of divorce. We now have a clean break so neither of us can make any claims against the other. Maintenance was also agreed and sorted at this time too and is now legally binding.

I know it's really difficult going it alone financially but one year does seem to be a short space of time to process the separation, think about divorce and get to know someone well enough to buy a house with them and them move in with you and your children.

If you're paying the household bills now including the mortgage would you not be in a position to see whether you could remortgage independently and buy him out yourself? If you extend your mortgage term this might be viable for you (I did this).

However you need legal advise and to get a Consent Order as part of your divorce process first. Do not do ANYTHING like this while you're still married.

Separately, do you really think having your financial and home security partly in the hands of someone you have known for a year is a good idea? I'm surprised you're even considering it quite honestly. Get legal advice, before anything else.