Can i ask him to leave? Do they usually or do they stay as ling as they can

[whycantitbecalm]

Ok so i'm about to tell my husband i want a divorce. He has been emotionally abusive to both me and our 3 kids although he would deny this, because he has his own sense of reality.
I know legally he can choose to stay in the house, but do men leave these days? Or do most wait in the house until its finalised.

He's quite old fashioned and will definitely believe if he leaves he is losing his rights to anything. Despite the house being in our name.

Depends how he feels and how he takes it. But he has the right to stay and any sensible lawyer will tell him to stay until the sale is sorted. But if he accepts it and agrees he may move out and rent for the time being. Only you know what your husband will do.

What’s the alternative?
can you afford for him to rent somewhere appropriate or are you expecting him to soda surf at a mates house?

as pp he will be advised to stay, as will you, while you resolve the divorce and financial split as has a right to stay

@Pleasecreateausername13 @millymollymoomoo
Thats what i thought, yep he could afford to rent somewhere but i don't think he will.

I am just so done with this part of my life now. Definitely need to get sorted asap

You can ask, but he can say no - and you can do nothing about it.

Best way is to set yourself up in the spare room if you can and work out a schedule with him around childcare if he decides to stay, that way you can get a bit of time to yourself and space away from him. It's never easy to live with someone you're separating with, especially if they are abusive to start with

Thank goodness we just rented. I text dh at 8am and to move out. I got home at 3
30pm and he was gone. Not seen a glimpse since the night before that and now 11 years later still not!!

Mine stayed for 18 months. It was hell.

He could have moved out earlier, but didn’t want to rent (could afford it). I offered to be the one to move out with dc, but he refused that too (I am sahm, he was financially controlling so I didn’t have ability to fund this myself). My only option was to wait until he decided to move out.

This is the worst time. He fully has the right to stay until the last minute. It's a living hell.

Try to negotiate with him. Maybe rent a separate flat/apartment and take turns in it during the month. Don't coerce him as that will be used against u. He can stay if he likes though....

Well, if I got home and my husband said he wanted me to leave the house and my children tbh I don’t think i would !

you need to sit down and work out a path to separation

funding 2 homes is not cheap
do you work ?