mortgage & financial advice

[o1ivia]

I would be grateful for some advice on two questions. My husband left me recently for 2 other women he was cheating on me with. We have 2 children (10 & 12 years). He has moved into our 3 bed flat and I am in our family home. I have asked him to give me the house if I give him the flat. He has been wanting me out of our family home, and has asked me to move into the flat instead. He has asked for 50% custody of the kids which I have agreed with.

1. He has said that if he were to give me the house, he would want to take his name off our mortgage and I would not afford the mortgage on my own. Our mortgage is £300,000, and I recently lost my job due to mental stress, so am unemployed, and would be forced to sell the house. Has anyone been in a similar situation and have suggestions on how I can manage the mortgage issue so I do not lose the house?
2. Furthermore, we were both paying 50% towards both mortgages and childcare maintenance, however, after 2 months, he started paying half of the agreed amount whilst I'm still paying what was agreed (even though I am no longer working). Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can work out what I should be asking for financially, and how to make him accountable to paying this without going to solicitors or court?

The best thing you can do is to research how divorce works and how assets are split. There are guides on her you can read and on other sites.

If you are sharing parenting 50:50 then you have the same housing needs. A three bed home, not necessarily a house and renting may have to be considered.

There is nothing in you post which gives much information about the equity you both own, pensions or savings. But these will all be split up based on need. Usually the person with a much lower income or with more housing need gets more in the split to fund housing.

In terms of how you manage your current finances you are both jointly responsible for the mortgages in the eyes of the lenders. They will seek payment from both of you or either of you. If they are not paid there will be consequences for both of you. Does he cover his share of the mortgages each month?

As you are separated and share parenting 50:50 you cannot claim CMS. I expect that is why the monthly payment to you has dropped.

If you are not working you can claim benefits. This will provide an income if he isn’t.

In terms of taking him to court for interim support, you could but a lot depends on his circumstances. It would be a spousal support as he isn’t liable for CMS.

As pp
bjt ultimately it’s reasonable he takes his name off mortgage and if you can’t afford it it’s likely this fmh and flat will need to be sold to release equity and both downsize

youll also need to think about a job to get a mortgage and provide for yourself

As LemonTT suggests research about divorce and financial settlement before making agreements.

Re – Divorce and Financial Settlement
To know what a fair split of assets is and to reach a financial settlement divorcing parties need to know what the assets of the marriage are, and what each asset is worth.

Full and frank disclosure - a legal requirement
Look at a Form E. A long document in which each party sets out their assets, income, and financial needs. You can see in it the assets that are taken into consideration upon divorce and financial settlement, for example property (the former marital home), pensions, stocks and shares etc. It also lists the documents needed that show the value of assets for example CETVs (cash equivalent transfer values of pensions - which can be requested from pension providers).

To find out what some assets are worth an independent expert can be used. Property can be valued by an expert - estate agents, pensions by CETV and / or a pension on divorce expert (PODE) report and so on. It is important to decide what needs a valuation by an independent expert and factor in the costs of these.

Pensions can be very valuable – equivalent or more than the value of the former martial home in some cases. Divorcing parties might hold different types of pensions (not like-for-like, so difficult to compare without an expert). Circumstances might be complex for example an age difference or pensions in payment. One party may have stayed at home to look after children.

Full and frank financial disclosure is required and usually provided when Form E is exchanged.
If after Form E there is missing information / evidence Questionnaires may be exchanged to retrieve it.
If still missing after that Deficiencies are exchanged.
A solicitor’s letter can be sent to retrieve financial information evidence.
A Court Order can also be applied for to gain financial information / evidence / valuations that is missing / essential.

Splitting assets
The income, earning capacity, property, and other financial resource which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future is taken into account. As I understand it, first consideration is given to the welfare (while a minor) of any child of the family who has not yet attained the age of eighteen.

Section 25 Factors
When deciding how to distribute a couple’s assets and income the court has to apply a checklist of factors set by statute. The relevant statute is section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. These factors will need to be applied in every case, regardless of whether you are engaged in court proceedings or negotiating your own settlement. These are often called the Section 25 factors, which the court will take into account when deciding how to distribute assets upon divorce or dissolution.
images.ctfassets.net/o8luwa28k6k2/2cpp2mEMwBJWJLuzTiTruB/b5397e7459154fad8927826a2c99acdd/section-25-expert-guide.pdf

Courts put the needs of children first.

The needs of each divorcing party are taken into account and as I understand it 50 / 50 is the starting point – so unequal shares based on circumstances and needs is possible, for example 60 / 40.

Where to get info and advice
These offer a free advice session about pensions on divorce and separation www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/divorce-and-separation/divorce-or-dissolution-how-we-can-help-with-your-pension
Free advice line (busy so keep trying) rightsofwomen.org.uk
Guides on divorce and financial settlement
www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/how-apply-financial-order-without-help-lawyer

Pensions on divorce
www.sharingpensions.co.uk/penaudit3.htm
www.mediateuk.co.uk/the-ultimate-guide-to-pensions-on-divorce/
www.nuffieldfoundation.org/news/new-good-practice-guide-addresses-shortfall-in-understanding-of-how-to-treat-pensions-on-divorce
Valuation of pensions – pensions on divorce expert report
www.collinspensionactuaries.co.uk no relation – useful website
www.collinspensionactuaries.co.uk/pension-data-collection/ templates for information required

Legal advice
This link gives you an indication of hourly rate for solicitors
www.gov.uk/guidance/solicitors-guideline-hourly-rates
Some organisations offer free advice from solicitors and barristers rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/ On their FAQs page…”Our Legal Officers and Volunteer legal advisors are all solicitors and barristers”.
Some family solicitors offer an in initial free consultation and some a fixed fee rather than hourly.
Some barristers can be directly instructed e.g., via Clerksroom Direct
Mumsnet suggest www.advicenow.org.uk/tags/separation-divorce-and-dissolution-civil-partnerships

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Information is power, so thank you for giving me the power to move forwards.

Hi, I have been told I can apply for a conditional order. however, we are due to go to court over childcare and have not been able to make any progress with financial situation. Should i continue to apply for the conditional order or what should I do? Help or advice is appreciated. thks

I would get some free legal advice as a starting point regarding the options for you to consider. Then propose the option to him you wish to pursue & see if you can amicably agree finances. If you can you can go down the consent order route rather than full financial disclosure via the form E process. It's much easier & cheaper but you have to agree! Good luck x

Oh & yes apply for conditional order. This is part of the admin process for divorce and separate to the child access process. Once you have your conditional order you can then submit your financial order - either consent order or full financial disclosure process. You cannot proceed to this stage until you have your conditional order so don't delay x