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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

I’ve seen his form E finances and WOW

32 replies

Nonagainst · 23/01/2023 15:01

I don’t know why I’m posting here, shock I guess?

I called it before we exchanged documents and said he would be giving money to his new woman and low and behold I was right.

Since sep 2022 he’s given her nearly £3000 and I’m in shock. At one point he gave her more money in a week than I get from him in a month. They’ve been together since Aug 2022. So why he doesn’t think this is odd Behaviour is weird to me.

Aside from that his spending has been off the charts since he left (he was a big spender before but this is actually insane). Since he left in July, he’s gone on holidays, spent obscene amounts on takeaways and nights out and ticket master of all places (I assume they were Xmas gifts to his new girlfriend and her kids).

I need to speak to my solicitor I know but I’m just in a state of shock. Seeing all this money being blown away whilst I worry constantly about what my child and I are going to do (he’s the child’s father) as my STBEXH wants the house sold asap.

I’m just so hurt

OP posts:
Original poster
Nonagainst · 23/01/2023 17:46

Swimmingpoolsally · 23/01/2023 17:40

Op you’re getting some shockingly bad advice on here. No judge gives a flying Toss how he spends his own money . Law is not punitive in this way. All that matters is his income savings etc and a fair split of joint assets. Child maintenance is handled separately

of course if he was spending joint savings it would be different, but you’ve not said this. But if he wants to give a new partner money as long as it’s not from joint savings then he can. I’m sorry.

Yeah I have had mixed advice throughout this whole process if I’m honest but until I guess this all gets settled I’ll never know who was right but I understand he can spend his money how he wants. I truly do, I don’t expect him to be in a hole for the rest of his life. But whilst I watch every penny and save everything I can, he’s having £50 takeaways every night (I wish I was joking) going on holidays with his new gf and her children (that stung, we never went on holiday as a family). I understand I’m in the emotional side at the moment and it doesn’t matter it court, it just still really hurts.

OP posts:
LexMitior · 23/01/2023 17:48

Appreciate that OP may not bf in this position, but don't say it doesn't matter. It can matter a great deal if your ex is a high earner.

Swimmingpoolsally · 23/01/2023 17:51

Nonagainst · 23/01/2023 17:46

Yeah I have had mixed advice throughout this whole process if I’m honest but until I guess this all gets settled I’ll never know who was right but I understand he can spend his money how he wants. I truly do, I don’t expect him to be in a hole for the rest of his life. But whilst I watch every penny and save everything I can, he’s having £50 takeaways every night (I wish I was joking) going on holidays with his new gf and her children (that stung, we never went on holiday as a family). I understand I’m in the emotional side at the moment and it doesn’t matter it court, it just still really hurts.

Show quote history

I get that, especially if you’re worried about money. To see him spending up with his new partner must be awful.

however you will get your equity from the house, and any other split of assets. Plus your child will get child maintenance, plus your income and any benefits you will get there and b free of him.

arethereanyleftatall · 23/01/2023 18:31

@Swimmingpoolsally

I think you're misunderstanding, unless I am. The stb ex husband is currently spending their joint money, because it's all in his account, and they're not divorced yet. He is spending all the assets as fast as he can so he doesn't have to share them.

Hawkins001 · 23/01/2023 18:48

@Nonagainst
When building the finances, how much was contributed by both of you or on average how much ?

Potluck22 · 23/01/2023 19:29

You need to find and keep evidence of joint savings at point of separation. Best prepare a file of evidence. It's what you both had at that point that counts. If you had 10k joint savings and he frittered it, i would be asking him now via solicitors or direct (keeping an email trail) that he deposit 5k of that now in your account.

Joint money there should hopefully be some recourse but court etc can take a long time. You could always be difficult and tell him you will only proceed with sale of family home once he has given you half of joint savings. That may force the point. If he has to force you via court to sell the house it costs a fortune and can take years

pompei8309 · 23/01/2023 19:37

Nonagainst · 23/01/2023 15:11

I’m not outraged, I’m hurt.

He left my son and I with nothing and now I see how much money he had and has been spending on the woman he cheated on me with, it’s hard.

Genuinely can’t believe you struggle to understand why your ex husband blowing money away whilst my son and I are financially buggered wouldn’t leave me upset???

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Why you’re buggered? are you not working?

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