Moving out / kids

[Estherpologist]

Our divorce is ongoing and protracted.
I'm moving in with a (platonic!!!) friend till it's sorted. There's very little open hostility in the family house, but I know it will be better for me.

Othere than the lack of tension, I'm struggling to think how to explain to a 14yr old who struggles to think beyond immediate consequences, how it will benefit her.

Any thoughts how I can spin this for her to understand?

Is she moving with you?

The benefits are two less stressed parents. No walking on egg shells.

At 14 your child will have probably only experienced two types of relationships the unconditional love in a family and friendships. They won’t have experience or understand romantic adult love yet. Even if they have known infatuation.

I would talk through the end of your relationship and moving apart in terms of how friendships end. She will have experienced friendships developing and ending.

Sometimes people are friends for life. They grow and develop together. Their feelings for each other never change.

Sometimes they drift apart as they grow. Their bond and feeelings change as they grow. Without much fuss or argument they move on but may still have friends or things in common which brings them together. It’s better that they get on. They handle it well because they accept they have both grown apart and relationships cannot be one sided.

Sometimes they fall out badly and the ending is toxic, especially if one or both doesn’t move on or they have to be around each other. This is not good for anyone. It’s the thing you want to avoid. For you and your ex living together becomes stressful and that’s what could make you fall out which you don’t want because you both need to get on because of your unconditional love for him or her.