Should I switch solicitor?

[NorthAngel]

Hello,

I’ve posted before on this. I ended my marriage over 2 years ago (sexless for over a decade, no attraction, no connection) and paid £500 for a quick divorce. It became apparent that stbx wasn’t paying a penny towards the children (both then under 18). I stayed in the FH and he moved into an a property he’d inherited after we separated. I was advised to bring in a financial solicitor, which I did. Obviously, at £240 an hour this has been expensive and I haven’t claimed CMS as I was living in the mortgage free FH although maintenance costs have fallen on me.

Anyway, I worked part time for 12 years so have lost pension and salary. I’m now full time. He paid AVC’s into his pension so it’s worth a lot more than mine. His solicitor has always seemed better than my solicitor (group of solicitors). Four solicitors have left the company and I’ve had to start again with each. His solicitor has had the inherited property ring-fenced and the offer they are insisting on is 50% of the FH. This means, he will be mortgage free with a nice sum in the bank whereas I will need a mortgage (I’m almost 51) which will reduce my disposable income substantially until I retire. He doesn’t pay CMS as I haven’t claimed. I think this is partially guilt as I ended the marriage and because I am living in the mortgage free FH (although his is also mortgage free). I didn’t want to touch pensions but have been informed that he has cashed in a £80k lump sum from his so, if it does go to court, mine will probably be bigger than his when I reach his age (60). Totally unfair and underhanded.

Anyway, new solicitor I have been allocated has done nothing. I have not heard a thing and living in this house, in limbo, is starting to affect my mental health. I emailed before and after Christmas to check on progress (I’d asked
for £150k from the sale of the house which would still leave him with £120k and the other house and his healthy pension)! Not heard a word!

So, I phoned another solicitor local to me
as the group I am using are in another part of the country and we correspond via email and phone only.

This new solicitor is older and is very experienced. Basically, he has told me I’m being spun a line. He said the only person who can ringfence a property is a judge. He has said they are bluffing and hoping I will accept just 50% of the house (and end up struggling paying another mortgage). A decent 3 bed here is at least £200-£230k. He also really told me off about not claiming CMS! He said that I was entitled to it and it would make a difference in any deal that was arranged. He said if I didn’t stop being soft and naive he couldn’t represent me. He thinks I’m being walked over. I said to him I felt guilty for being the one to end the marriage (yes, I ended up involved with another man after a long sexless marriage) but he said that I shouldn’t.

I believe this man will get things moving and will be more dominant. He actually said that, if he can be firm with me
like he was, what do I think he will be like with them? He sounds good.

Should I change at this late stage? I don’t want to hurt my stbx but it’s very obvious I am going to be a lot worse off even though I’m the higher earner who worked hard to rise up the ranks.

New solicitor is also £275 an hour so more expensive. Is it time I switched? Not heard a thing from the other group. They seem
to just send out photocopies of letters but don’t fight my corner.

PS. Eldest is over 18 and has a place (deferred) at university for September. He is currently on a gap year and working part time and getting experience in the field he wants to work in. Youngest coming up 15 and with me 100% of the time.

Yes I would switch.

Of course change to the firm solicitor.

When you’re stuggling to afford surgery / a care home years from now you’ll be absolutely cursing your younger self for not standing up for your rights and getting a proper deal.

Not even claiming child support?!!

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Switch

Switch

a fair outcome will look at all assets, your respective earnings and ability to earn, and will aim to leave you on equal footing

He’s 10 years older than me so is closer to retirement. I’m the higher earner but have worked hard for it - he didn’t.

Even if you don't take on the new solicitor you certainly need to fire the old ones. I would also not pay them a penny for their shoddy work.

Can you speak to a third solicitor? Many now do a fixed fee first consultation. Surely that's worth £50?

In my experience quite a few solicitors are crap - slow to respond, not on the bball etc.

Do yourself a favour and if you have no confidence, switch solicitors and push it straight to mediation then court. You can't reason with the unreasonable. Sounds like your ex is unreasonable so your best option imo is court. You're entitled to half his pension. Probably only court can get to the bottom of and deal with the shenanigans your ex is pulling. Court can cost 20-30k but no point wasting more money and time on solicitors letters and negotiations. Probably best to switch solicitor tell them you are going straight to mediation and if no joy there then court. Ask new solicitor for a rough idea on costs before court and before switching but expect costs if it goes all the way through court to be around 30k. If his pension is worth enough (that you need to find out) it should be worth it.

That's a no-brainer. Switch asap, your current solicitor sounds utterly useless. Also, you're being incredibly silly not claiming child maintenance.

My pension is probably worth more than his now as he withdrew some and spent it on the inherited property. We have already seen another solicitor about mediation but they asked me to be in the same room as him and I refused (he hasn’t spoken to me since he left) and I said I didn’t want to go down that route.

The elder child now lives mainly with his dad and he has now stopped receiving child benefit for him now he is over 18 (I’m presuming it stops at 18). He will be going to university in September. I guess I feel guilty that he is paying bills and food for the eldest and will then have to pay for the younger child if I claim.

Im not sure he can just take money from his pension then say its worth less than yours...i would expect a court would be interested in initial values before any shenanigans. You really need to compare value of both pensions pre shenanigans- if there is 30k or more due to you looking at values at separation then worth pursuing, if not, id forget that.

To be honest your ex doesn't sound like the sort of man to be intimidated by solicitor letters. It doesn't matter really whose solicitor says what, if people know what is fair, ultimately it goes to court if people aren't reasonable. Reasonable imo is child maintenance, 50% of assets at point of separation and 50% of pension at pointof separation. Personally id put the inherited home out of the equation, he inherited it after you split so imo nothing to do with you.

You could get a brilliant solicitor and spend 3k on threatening letters. If your ex sees them for what they are and refuses to engage, you are essentially burning cash. Mediation is often done remotely now.

What settlement do you want and think is reasonable?

You may be able to argue for slightly more than 50% assets and pension at point of separation but doubt your chances would be great since your youngest child is 15. I think higher awards are usually when children are younger

Not so sure "firm solicitor" is the solution either, he seems to be disparaging you and your first solicitor to nake himself look good. But I think you need to do a goldilocks and find the right solicitors, not too firm not too soft.

I want to leave the pensions untouched but take a bigger share of the family home. Probably about 60-70%. He is living mortgage free and is settled in his new home. I’m still living in limbo in the family home. He still won’t need a mortgage even if he only got 10% of the FH.

He inherited the other house after we’d separated hence why I was told it was ring-fenced.

See one more solicitor. Then decide between them and the patronising solicitor. Ditch the first firm.

You seem to be comparing your financial position now with his now. That is not what divorce is about imo. Usually its about where things were at the point of separation mostly. Yes it sucks he has more. So does my ex but you are no longer together.

Sorry to be blunt but no point saying you dont want to touch this or that. It's all about looking at what was in the marital pot at the point of separation.

Sorry but i don't think you are looking at this factually and logically and if you don't start looking at it in that way then i think you will undoubtedly end up being dissatisfied with whichever solicitor you choose.

Have you drawn up the sums and calculated what 50% at point of separation is ( on joint assets and pre- doctored pensions so before he took money out). In my experience its about totting it all up then seeing what 50% is. The mega rich i think are entitled to spousal maintenance but don't think thats the norm. You could try getting a solicitor to argue for 55% of total.pot at point of separation but id do the maths and figure out what you are willing to spend for what potential reward. Heck ask for 60% but ultimately be willing to be realistic re settlements and legal cost and do your sums. It might be worth taking 55% of whole pot and not getting dragged in to long dispute which costs more in legal costs.

I think you need to do the sums before you switch solicitor to know if the next one is actually any good.

I’ll work out what 55% of the pensions (before he took some out of his) and house are but leave the inherited property out as this will give a figure for the point of separation. I’ll see what that would give me.