Told children DD won't talk

[PilchardsonToast]

Hi

We told the kids a a bit over a week ago about the divorce, STBEX has been buying at house which has finally gone through. We genuinely have just grown apart, no arguments or drama, it was my decision but the kids haven't lived in a stressful house.

DS10 while initially upset has accepted things fairly well and has been spending time at the new house helping sort things

DD12 is a different story, she seems so sad but will not talk at all. She refuses to have a look at the house 'it's not my I'm not going' I don't want to rush things because there is no hurry but I dont know what to do..she's back at school tomorrow and I'm so worried she's going to have a breakdown as I can see it all bubbling up under the surface

Does anyone have any advice?

Tell the school so her class teacher knows what is going on.

Carve out some quiet time for you and her, and her and your STBXH so that she has a chance to talk if she needs to and quietly watch for a few days longer.

Some people need time to process a bit longer.

Are there any other adults she is close to that might provide a listening ear? Aunts/ Friends' parents/ Grandparents.

Can you and ex talk to her alone?
ensure she knows that’s her feelings are ok
that it’s ok for her to be upset or unsure or uncertain about what this all means
she will be ok. It it’s important not to rush her
jyst keep letting her know that she’s loved, that her parents are still here for her and it’s ok to feel
upset/annoyed/angry etc at times

A week isn't very long, try not to be too worried. Just keep providing a smooth structure, keep to routine, and give it time. Everyone is different in how they process things. Definitely a good idea to tell school, although it is harder with secondary age kids, its worth doing.

Big hugs to you as well.

Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate it. I'm going to be patient, give her time and ensure she has opportunities to talk when she's ready.