Page 2 | Dad's rights

Slb87 · 2023-01-08T22:30:34+00:00

I've separated from my partner, we own a property together and have a 3yr old. I moved out of our home 18 months ago but I am still paying half the mortgage and full child maintenance to her. I've been sleeping on the sofa at a family members house as I'm unable to finance anything else. The property has gained value and she's refusing to sell or buy me out... I therefore can't move on with my life. She is a manager and works full time bringing in a good wage. I'm very much involved with my daughter's life and have her every weekend and during the week. Where do i stand? This is making me ill and my mental health is seriously suffering.

StarCourt · 09/01/2023 13:37

seriously get legal advice rather tjan asking here

Itsnotyouitsmeiswear · 09/01/2023 13:51

You need to continue to pay half to keep your interest in the property and you hAve as much right to live there are your ex whilst still paying.
If you’re not going to reconcile just start divorce proceedings and this will sort out the financials. If you stop paying you may lose interest in the property or when it’s gets sold you will be entitled to less of the proceeds.

millymollymoomoo · 09/01/2023 15:01

They’re not married

op does not have to pay or continue to pay to retain his share

assuming op owns as joint tenants 50% is his regardless of who pays . Even if he pays nothing for next 5 years.

op you need legal advice as some on here is simply not correct

yiu do not have to accept this, she has no right to remain for the next 15 years, and you don’t have to pay.
there are steps you can take to force a sale or buy out
see a solicitor!

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/01/2023 15:05

StarCourt · 09/01/2023 13:37

seriously get legal advice rather tjan asking here

This. In spades.

Also, stop talking about 'dad's rights'. It makes you sound like one of those idiots who climb buildings in fancy dress. These are your legal rights, plus your D's rights to a safe home and a place to see you. Are you wanting to have her 50:50? Ask a solicitor about that.

xyhere · 09/01/2023 15:10

Slb87 · 09/01/2023 13:28

She's also doing alterations in the property without my consent... has anyone been in the same situation? Where do I stand on that? Surely she has no right to do anything?

Get. Legal. Advice.

Nobody can give it to you here. Go to the nearest solicitor's and ask for advice - the first hour's free, as I recall.

But you need to do it now.

Itsnotyouitsmeiswear · 09/01/2023 15:40

millymollymoomoo · 09/01/2023 15:01

They’re not married

op does not have to pay or continue to pay to retain his share

assuming op owns as joint tenants 50% is his regardless of who pays . Even if he pays nothing for next 5 years.

op you need legal advice as some on here is simply not correct

yiu do not have to accept this, she has no right to remain for the next 15 years, and you don’t have to pay.
there are steps you can take to force a sale or buy out
see a solicitor!

That’s not true. Of course he needs to pay if he wants to keep his interest in the house. What if he stops paying half and then his ex stops paying he can lose the house altogether, or not get another mortgage.

from citizens advice website
‘If you’re both named on the mortgage, you’re both responsible for the payments - including any arrears - even if one of you moves out. When you separate, you might be able to make other arrangements for paying it.’

if he is still named on the mortgage then he is liable for it end of. He can get his name removed from the mortgage, or his ex can request to have him removed and have just the mortgage in her name, but while he is still on it he has to pay.
The easiest thing would be to force a sale and go your separate ways with regards to the house.

millymollymoomoo · 09/01/2023 18:39

It is correct. As stated - the mortgage is joint and several . The lender does not care who pays. If he stops, his ex will need to pay. Obviously if neither does then thy face repossession if defaulted over a period of time which I’m sure neither would want that. But if he stops paying his share the lender would simply seek it from the other party

in terms of interest in the property , if they are joint tenants it’s held 50:50. Doesn’t matter if one party pays 100% of mortgage , they own it equally and upon sale or buy out each are entitled to 50% of equity

his ex does not have legal right to sole occupation, nor for him to legally continue to pay, nor to remain until child is 18 but as she appears unwilling to negotiate or compromise he’ll have to go legal route and force a sale

Garysmum · 09/01/2023 18:44

If you are paying half the mortgage can you charge rent for the occupation of "your half"?

JustCleaningtheBBQ · 09/01/2023 19:36

How did you calculate your maintenance payment? It sounds like your seeing your DD roughly 50/50, in which case you don't need to pay anything.

Cancersurvivor · 09/01/2023 19:49

Hi, you must keep paying the mortgage, your solicitor will ask when you separated, you said it was 18mth ago. Had you stopped paying the mortgage you would only have been entitled to half the market value from the date you separated. As you are still paying half the mortgage you will be entitled to half the property's market value as of today valuation.
Let her do the refurbishment, it will increase t(e value of the property.

You need to see a lawyer ASAP you can usually get a free consultation for 1 hour to discuss your case.
Also make sure you ask about full costs involved. You can make the separation legal through your lawyer then stop the mortgage payments. When you get round to getting the house sold, you will get the market value of the property of the date you legally separated.

Itsnotyouitsmeiswear · 09/01/2023 21:36

Cancersurvivor · 09/01/2023 19:49

Hi, you must keep paying the mortgage, your solicitor will ask when you separated, you said it was 18mth ago. Had you stopped paying the mortgage you would only have been entitled to half the market value from the date you separated. As you are still paying half the mortgage you will be entitled to half the property's market value as of today valuation.
Let her do the refurbishment, it will increase t(e value of the property.

You need to see a lawyer ASAP you can usually get a free consultation for 1 hour to discuss your case.
Also make sure you ask about full costs involved. You can make the separation legal through your lawyer then stop the mortgage payments. When you get round to getting the house sold, you will get the market value of the property of the date you legally separated.

Thank you, this is exactly how I know of it!

I understand it may seem unfair to pay when not living there but you still have a choice to live there! Keep paying or risk financial ruin. If your ex can’t afford to pay it all herself (or doesn’t want to) you could lose it altogether. Keep paying your half and keep proof of those payments, and if she won’t sell or buy you out, you need to force the sale.

millymollymoomoo · 09/01/2023 21:50

The above is simply NOT correct !

I’ll say it once more then I’m out
see a solicitor has there us a lot of incorrect posts on here

right im done
good luck

NoDatingForOldMen · 09/01/2023 22:58

millymollymoomoo · 09/01/2023 15:01

They’re not married

op does not have to pay or continue to pay to retain his share

assuming op owns as joint tenants 50% is his regardless of who pays . Even if he pays nothing for next 5 years.

op you need legal advice as some on here is simply not correct

yiu do not have to accept this, she has no right to remain for the next 15 years, and you don’t have to pay.
there are steps you can take to force a sale or buy out
see a solicitor!

100% this, get good legal advice, get the house one the market and get on with your life.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/01/2023 23:40

she has no right to remain for the next 15 years

Unless she has a Mesher Order. Which is why you need a solicitor to ask the right questions and look for the right answers.

OP appears to have buggered off though so who knows.

millymollymoomoo · 10/01/2023 07:26

She cannot get a mesher order as they are not married !
she’d have to go via tolata and sch 1 childrens act to try this….. v costly and unlike to be successful !

Itsnotyouitsmeiswear · 10/01/2023 16:32

millymollymoomoo · 09/01/2023 21:50

The above is simply NOT correct !

I’ll say it once more then I’m out
see a solicitor has there us a lot of incorrect posts on here

right im done
good luck

Do you have any actual experience in this???
You’re trying to advise someone to stop paying THEIR debt. Unless he gets his name removed it is his debt still whether he lives there or not. You’re saying the mortgage company will just chase his ex if he doesn’t pay…? Well then that would mean his ex can refuse to pay and they’ll chase him? You’re not making sense! It’s currently in BOTH of their names that means they are BOTH responsible. If he removes his name from the mortgage, the mortgage company will need to decide if his ex can afford repayments alone. And his child could lose their house if he just stops paying and his ex can’t afford it alone, so of course he keeps paying until it is sorted legally. Also I quoted citizens advise to back up what I’m saying, you’re just spouting nonsense.

Itsnotyouitsmeiswear · 10/01/2023 16:42

millymollymoomoo · 09/01/2023 21:50

The above is simply NOT correct !

I’ll say it once more then I’m out
see a solicitor has there us a lot of incorrect posts on here

right im done
good luck

Quote from moneysupermarket
”Yes, a joint mortgage can be paid by one owner only. Put simply, lenders won’t care who and how many people chip in to pay back a mortgage loan, as long as someone does. The only thing they will state is that both parties are liable for repaying the debt.”

Quote from ORJ Law firm
”Legally, if you and your spouse both own the property and are named on the mortgage, you will both continue to remain jointly liable for meeting any mortgage repayments, even if you choose to leave the family home. Similarly, you are obliged to meet the payments of any household bills in your name.”

Quote from SAM conveyencing
”Do you have to pay the mortgage if I move out?
It is common for one person to move out if the relationship breaks down. If this is the case then the person who moves out is still liable to make full repayment of the mortgage repayments.

How do you share mortgage repayments after you break up?
How you split the monthly mortgage repayments is of no concern to your mortgage lender because from their perspective both of you jointly must pay the full mortgage amount.”

…

millymollymoomoo · 10/01/2023 18:46

I’m not talking nonsense

op can listen to incorrect advice on here if they wish or can seek the advice of a solicitor

but his share is not impacted by whether he pays or not
his ex cannot obtain a mesher
he can move back in
the lender does not care who pays as it’s a joint and several liability

of course if neither pay then ultimately credit rating is impacted and house ultimately repossessed which I’m sure they wa t to avoid ( as I mentioned upthread)

but he’s daft yo keep paying when not living there