Struggling to advise DB who is reluctant to engage solicitor - any advice please

[pinkceilingchoice]

DB has always been a bit lackadaisical and let's events happen to him. He's 50+ now so that really won't change.

However he is now temporarily living with us (DS, BiL) as is marriage has now broken down (this happened in July 2022).

As yet he has not really done anything - he has two DCs (under 10) and is paying half the mortgage to DSIL

We have (until blue in the face) told him he needs to see a solicitor to work out his "rights" and push towards mediation.

However he's not really done much aside from going to CAB and looking into the usual (30 min) solicitor initial meeting) - no solicitor meeting arranged yet

Not sure what I am asking - he is always welcome here but it would help me (and DH) to know what we/he are missing? What should DB do beyond waiting for "events to come to him"

At present DB and SIL share childcare as much as they can, DB is paying his half of the mortgage.

It was SIL who initiated the separation - and no other parties involved (that we or DB aware of).

What should DB be asking of a solicitor?

He seems "resigned" to it all - wants it all to be amicable - but I'm not sure it can ever really be

Well, you first need to be sure that things are over and there is no prospect of reconciliation -- it does happen!
The current situation could conceivably continue for some time, if neither sees the need to change. Often it takes a new partner arriving for people to seek more of a longer-term resolution. But there is no necessarily any need to rush.

Anyway, either partner may apply for a divorce, and the process today is 'no fault'. (or both can apply, I think). The divorce process means making decisions about how the children are housed and cared-for, and who gets which assets. All sorts of assets are included -- houses, pensions, savings, cars, etc. So during a divorce each party needs a good idea of what assets are available, in the context of where children will be living.

An increasing proportion of divorces, it seems, go for a simple 50/50 split of assets if that permits children to be adequately housed.