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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Getting divorced and missing my kids - how do you cope?

1 reply

hotrocks84 · 05/01/2023 19:36

I am separating from my partner, relatively amicably given the circumstances (he had an affair). I am convinced that getting divorced is the right thing for us, and for the kids (4 and 6), who have really suffered from the tension in our house for the last few years. I am confident we can move to something better that will work out alright.

BUT.

We have just started nesting, and I am missing the children more than I would ever have thought possible. It is like a physical pain. I have booked in lots of trips to see friends, a course, and am trying to use the time to get my head together and mend from the last few months of awfulness, D-day etc. But it really hurts not seeing my kids every day. Just comes in waves when I see other people out with their kids, or look at photos, or wonder what they're doing.

I imagine we'll do 50/50 or close to that, as exp is a good and committed dad, just not a good husband. I know he can look after them but am full of longing to see them and worry they'll feel I've abandoned them. I am usually the parent to get up in the night, collect them from school, etc etc. So I guess I have the guilts as well as feeling sad.

This is only the second time I've been apart from them since we decided to separate. Please tell me that this gets easier, and that you adjust? And what I can do to make things feel less terrible?

OP posts:
Danikm151 · 05/01/2023 19:39

They won’t think you’ve abandoned them.

A good idea is to have a schedule. Get the kids a calendar and mark on there the days they will be with Dad and when they are with you. That way they will understand how long they will be with each parent.
Once the routine is down they will get used to it and you will too in time.
you’ll get to appreciate a little bit of time to yourself 🙂

Also establish that they can call if they want to

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