What next? Divorce

[Alittlebitofthis]

Hi. I have posted before about my husband and talking out £40,000 of loans as he got into a scam through bitcoin.

My ds, 10 told me tonight that his dad drove him on Hogmanay to a party and back drunk. With him in the car. Even offered him £10 not to tell me. I am absolutely raging. I am so angry with him!

I phoned 101 and someone one has been round to get a statement. They won't chArge him as there's no proof. However it goes onto a protection agency and it's up to them if they share it with other agencies. Like social work. Although they may get in touch with the school.

What happens now? I need to contact a solicitor. I'm hoping that he'll leave so ds has normality but not sure if he will. Unlikely!

We're in Scotland.

Have you clarified your personal financial responsibility, if any, for the loans he took out? Were they just in his name? Were they secured against the property or a business. That's a lot of money to be allowed to borrow without securities!

There is absolutely no point in trying planning ahead until you've seen a solicitor about finances/property etc. Otherwise it's a load of 'what if' thinking about whether you and dc can stay in home or not. Once you know where you stand, you can make better decisions. With a person who goes to extremes to protect their addictions, you need to be best prepared for a fight.

Staying and having normality is a best case scenario, but if not possible imo it's better to forego that normality short term to ensure your dc isn't being driven around by a drunk and bribed to lie to you to cover up.

Both the gambling on bitcoin and taking out large loans to do so, and the drinking suggest an addictive personally with no respect/consideration for their family.

The loans were taken out through two different banks. In his name only. It went through the fraud team and he went through a debt agency (?) so he's paying it off. Means he doesn't have a great credit score anymore. There is no other loans.

I have no idea why he decided to drink drive. It was a 10 minute walk away at most! It was icy as well. He could have arranged to go to another time for a catch up!
The police asked my intentions and I'm under the impression that because I said that was it he didn't think the the protection agency would share the information with any other parties like social. I think if I did go back they'd have to be involved due to safety!

We're moving this thread to our Divorce/Separation topic for the OP and giving it a bump.