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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Husband won’t leave unless I give him 26k

37 replies

emmacos · 01/01/2023 11:10

Hi guys new to this site so not sure how it goes but here goes.
Ive been married for 19yrs and we have 2 sons 19&14, my husband was diagnosed with depression March last year which I suspected, my husband don’t tell me anything from income, outgoings, appointments, his mum passed away 4yrs ago and he was left 56k which I had no control of, husband bought me a car then items for the house, he decided to give up work due to his depression saying we would be ok financially but has now run out, I work 55hrs a week as a carer and pay for most utility bills, I have asked my husband to leave as we are no longer communicating but he says he won’t go until I give him 26k! I rent my house from the housing association and it’s only my name on the tenancy, I am so unhappy that I’m spending all my time watching tv upstairs out of the way.
I don’t know if I should be telling the boys.

OP posts:
ThePear · 01/01/2023 13:34

Stop offering him stuff. He can say what he wants, doesn’t make it true. Finances are sorted during the divorce.

KateMcCallister · 01/01/2023 13:35

Yarrawonga · 01/01/2023 13:17

Ask him to leave, if he does t call the police. It’s your name on the tenancy and he has no right to be there.

It isn’t that simple. While they are still married, he is entitled to stay where he is.

This is true, he has "home rights" as you are married.

You need to speak to a solicitor OP, and I'd also speak to the Citizens Advice in the meantime.

You don't owe him 26k or the tv at the moment, stop offering him things and ignore his requests for money.

Choconut · 01/01/2023 13:44

Don't give him anything, speak to a solicitor instead. He has chosen how to spend the money, he bought you the car so that was a gift I'd have thought. He chose to buy stuff for the house so you don't owe him cash. He's spent all his mums money now he wants to live off yours.

RandomPerson42 · 01/01/2023 13:46

If he has a brain he likely knows he is trying it on.

Newlifestartingatlast · 01/01/2023 13:51

Op, instigate divorce proceedings. You don’t need a solicitor for that..go to government site and read process, look at forms needed, then raise the petition. The government has designed it to not need a solicitor. Tick the box that says you want courts to approve a financial settlement ( applies if courts have to impose it or it’s what you agree amicably as a “ consent order). He no longer needs to agree t that petition.

You can’t boot him out unfortunately. State you will agree financial settlement as part of the divorce process by the courts and that you BOTH have to make full financial disclosure on form E and D81, before the agreement can be reached and approved by courts. You can reach a decision yourselves, cooperatively and save on solicitors costs, or he can fight and run up bills on solicitors at £200+ per hour each. But in either case it has to be “ sealed” by the court.

do not agree to anything, car or whatever, until he has done his legal financial declaration. It is a criminal offence for him to hide assets and courts take a very dim view of applicants who’ve lied. He simply cannot refuse to disclose his financial situation to you- not a legal option. Yes, might drag out a divorce and prove costly in terms of solicitors, but it is not an option.

he is trying to pull wool over your eyes to get you agreeing something informal and not legally defensible . Just refuse to participate in that. State you will only agree through the correct legal process . If he doesn’t actually know the legal process, tell him to inform himself.

use the link on MN talk board to the Advice Now guides ( at the top) you can download. Look at both divorce process one, and financial settlement one. They’ll explain process to you simply, your rights, how fair settlement is determined….it’ll cost £20 quid a pop but answer your questions and save you asking a solicitor at this stage who’ll charge you £3.34 for every minute they’re even thinking about your question, let alone answering.

FrankieWapp · 01/01/2023 14:25

He’s not on the tenancy so has no legal right to live there so you can throw him out. He’s doing this as a distraction as he knows you can’t possibly give him that amount.

RandomMess · 01/01/2023 14:36

As they are married he does have the right to be in the home.

If he gets abusive or violent then it will be easier to get him removed as he isn't named in the tenancy.

Yarrawonga · 01/01/2023 15:25

He’s not on the tenancy so has no legal right to live there so you can throw him out

As has been explained several times already, you can’t. They are married so he has a legal right to live there until they divorce.

Newlifestartingatlast · 01/01/2023 16:21

FrankieWapp · 01/01/2023 14:25

He’s not on the tenancy so has no legal right to live there so you can throw him out. He’s doing this as a distraction as he knows you can’t possibly give him that amount.

If they are married I believe he does have rights to remain.

Dotcheck · 01/01/2023 19:58

DenholmElliot11 · 01/01/2023 13:14

26K to be rid of him? I'd pay it gladly, and get on with my new life.

Not everyone has 26 grand hanging around collecting dust

Mateyduck · 16/03/2023 12:16

Stop offering him anything !!! This needs to go to divorce court. Tell him
to leave or call police to have him removed. You’ll have to stop trying to negotiate here and get firm.

Jas683 · 16/03/2023 14:55

Hi.

Like most other posts here, get legal advice. Part with no monies until the deal is legally bound as he could potentially keep asking for more.

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