How to feel hopeful about the future post split

[MikePosner5]

Been separated a few years but not divorced yet. House has a bit of equity but not a lot, I’m on a low income (gave up work for years as a sahm while ex progressed career, now in a child friendly crap paid role with little hope of progression).. I have a degree and am educated but been out of my field for years and probably couldn’t return to that work, but could do something else better paid when kids are older. They are teens/preteen now.

So basically, given how crazy expensive property is/rental prices, once we sell and divorce officially, it just seems I will struggle financially for the rest of my life. So I’m finding it hard to find hope for my future really. It all just seems a bit grim. Anyone else in a similar boat?

Is there a reason why you haven't formally divorced? Surely just having that side of it done would make you feel more hopeful about the future as you'll be putting the past to bed so to speak legally?

Also with pre teens and teens do you really need child friendly employment? Surely they are of any age when they are more independent and you don't need to rely on childcare so much?

Sometimes i think the biggest things that hold us back are ourselves? Are you holding on to the past by not divorcing and telling yourself you can't possibly get a better job when in fact you can? How old exactly do the kids need to be before you decide you can get a better paid job? Teens is old enough surely?

There’s no major reason, we just haven’t yet… We own the house together and have just signed another three year fixed rate. I live there with kids and he rents.
I do think it would be better for us mentally if the divorce bit was done. Maybe we need to get moving on it.

re job, youngest is 10 so I was thinking of getting her settled into secondary snd then looking as she suffers with anxiety, so the transition might be tricky & I work in the school she will be going to, so I thought it would give me chance to keep an eye on how she settles in.