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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

How can it cost this much? Ideas for cheaper divorce?

11 replies

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 23/12/2022 13:06

Our kids are over 18 but one is disabled so will have to live with me for the foreseeable future. So we have the house and our pensions to split. I've seen a solicitor, she wants £3-5k to get it done including the financial order. We are both in our 60s so pensions are in payment but she wants me to get an actuary report - again been quoted £2k minimum for this. On top of that she wants mediation, for which I have been quoted £1,000 minimum (yesterday). H has no cash, no capital, I have £10k savings which of course are his as well as an asset of the marriage, so I'll need to pay for everything (I instigated divorce).

Amicable have quoted over £3k and as I understand it they don't do mediation, just a couple of "coaching" sessions, which won't work if we disagree at any stage, and they were like very "meh" about the actuarial reports so I don't feel they have any expertise in this area.

Only other thing I'm looking at is Quickie Divorce.com and that looks like it sounds!

Just to put this in context, once the house is sold, mortgage paid off etc., we will be lucky to end up with £300k to split. So how come the divorce is costing so much? We don't qualify for legal aid, but then neither do most people, so how on earth does everyone afford it? Does everyone else have substantial savings and equity that they can write off £5k in fees and not put themselves in dire straits?

OP posts:
Greensleevevssnotnose · 23/12/2022 13:08

Mine cost over 20k took two years and we had no kids and one flat. I got about 100k. My other half fees were twice mine. It soon adds up. If you are amicable you can use divorce.com for About 500 quid which I did for my second divorce.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 23/12/2022 13:10

To pay for it they took a charge on the house as I had no money either

Lulu2171 · 23/12/2022 13:18

Try instructing a solicitor from a part of the country which is cheaper than where you are. If you are in England anywhere in England & Wales is fine (check they are members of both Resolution and Lexcel as a guide to quality). You can use phone/Zoom/email instead of meeting. That way you may find someone who will quote less.

But I have to say this is really pretty cheap. And you definitely need an actuary report.

TheFormidableMrsC · 23/12/2022 13:30

I did it myself. It's hard work and time consuming but I achieved the outcome I wanted. Wikivorce is a very good resource and there are lots of books available for laypeople to understand the law. Ultimately it's a formula and once you understand that it's easy to do.

isthistheendtakeabreath · 23/12/2022 14:33

I'd be finding a new solicitor - mine openly recommended doing it largely ourselves and keeping his costs to a minimum - if you are amicable you don't need an actuary or mediator

DenholmElliot11 · 23/12/2022 14:35

I did mine myself too.

Ultimately,, if the parties can't agree on the asset split, the judge decides. And the judge will be fair.

TheFormidableMrsC · 23/12/2022 15:52

DenholmElliot11 · 23/12/2022 14:35

I did mine myself too.

Ultimately,, if the parties can't agree on the asset split, the judge decides. And the judge will be fair.

Totally agree with this. Unfortunately mine wasn't amicable and ex refused to cooperate with mediation so I had no choice but to apply to court. Fortunately I had an amazing judge who could see what I was being subjected to and my difficult circumstances with a disabled child. Sometimes it's the only way!

Everybodywants · 23/12/2022 17:18

If it is amicable you don't need a solicitor. You don't even need to go to mediation if you agree. So you could do it for this much:

Divorce application fee £593
Fee to a solicitor to draw up your financial consent order circa £400
Fee to lodge your consent order with the court £53

That's it, plus if you are amicable maybe you can even split that so what's that? £523 each? Done.

It's if you can't agree it starts to cost more.

That would be then £120 each for a mediation miam and then anything between £150-300 each per mediation session depending on who you use.

So weird the sol above quoted you 1k for mediation, I mean, how could she automatically predict how many sessions you'd need?

Newlifestartingatlast · 24/12/2022 17:35

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 23/12/2022 13:06

Our kids are over 18 but one is disabled so will have to live with me for the foreseeable future. So we have the house and our pensions to split. I've seen a solicitor, she wants £3-5k to get it done including the financial order. We are both in our 60s so pensions are in payment but she wants me to get an actuary report - again been quoted £2k minimum for this. On top of that she wants mediation, for which I have been quoted £1,000 minimum (yesterday). H has no cash, no capital, I have £10k savings which of course are his as well as an asset of the marriage, so I'll need to pay for everything (I instigated divorce).

Amicable have quoted over £3k and as I understand it they don't do mediation, just a couple of "coaching" sessions, which won't work if we disagree at any stage, and they were like very "meh" about the actuarial reports so I don't feel they have any expertise in this area.

Only other thing I'm looking at is Quickie Divorce.com and that looks like it sounds!

Just to put this in context, once the house is sold, mortgage paid off etc., we will be lucky to end up with £300k to split. So how come the divorce is costing so much? We don't qualify for legal aid, but then neither do most people, so how on earth does everyone afford it? Does everyone else have substantial savings and equity that they can write off £5k in fees and not put themselves in dire straits?

Use the link MN has provided at top of this talk board to ADVICE NOW . Brilliant guides. £20 to download. Tells you what you must have solicitor for, what you might need one for, what you can definately do yourself
i divorced in June 2021- all bills for me and ex came in at £1400 inc vat, we stayed amicable and a bit unemotional to acheive that - hard but we got there

Original poster
HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 27/12/2022 02:00

Thank you all - I've dipped into Advice Now occasionally and I always forget to check in there first, good advice. They should have it in bigger letters! Also Wikidivorce someone recommended up thread, yes I keep forgetting that too.

@Everybodywants the mediation organisation quoted £1k, the solicitor had recommended we use them.

OP posts:
silentpool · 27/12/2022 02:10

The mediation charges don't look wildly out of line but you may not need multiple sessions, which I think the quoted cost covers - at least according to these people who did mine.

I ended up doing one session which my ex refused to attend, so got my form signed and off to court. So my cost was lower.

www.nfm.org.uk/about-family-mediation-services/costs/

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