hi All
anyone able to recommend someone who could help with what will likely be a very unpleasant divorce. He emotionally abusive but incredibly convincing that I’m making it up/I’m the one doing whatever it is I say he’s doing.
he is likely to have good financial support from his family who, despite telling me they have to be careful how they talk to him for fear of angering him, will back him to the hilt and know solicitors who are loyal family friends.
he will definitely claim I’m turning the kids against him but they can see him for what he is and will be reluctant to spend time with him although I’m aware they will have to probably.
I work in a low wage nhs healthcare job part time to fit around his work. I realised a while ago that I was basically bending my life to prevent my kids from having too much alone time with him because has little patience and is becoming increasingly unpleasant when angry. i have some savings but no where near what he had available via family.
I haven’t worked full time or in the field of healthcare I should be in because he becomes even more horrid and moody the more he had to do but is very good at blaming me or the kids for his mood. It took me a long time to realise he essentially behaves worse when I work in way that means it impacts his work, so I have changed roles and cut hours over the years only for him to have got worse anyway. I think I have been the proverbial boiled frog.
house is in both names but not worth a lot in todays market though a fair amount of equity. He views it as his and very much thinks it’s his money although that only comes out in arguments. When calm he always u it a very careful to say it’s our money etc but has on multiple occasions told me he works harder he pays for more etc. I know legally it’s different but that’s what he really thinks.
All of this is to say I think I will need an experienced lawyer who understands/will be good at dealing with a husband who will do anything to look like an amazing father being mistreated by a crazy wife who lives off him doing massive hours so I can work part time. Image is everything to him I realise now. He is so utterly convincing though that in arguments I am always tied in knots.
I am planning and moving slowly because I need rock solid plans otherwise he will pull me down. But I think I need to talk to a lawyer to see what my realistic position might be.
thank you to anyone with recommendations xx