How do you deal with your anger

[prettygreenteacup]

How do you channel your anger at the injustices of how you've been treated by a spouse? Literally, does anyone have any suggestions because I feel like I currently just bottle it up and do nothing for the sake of co-parenting and keeping the peace.

In the details of the divorce process and the whole thing is so triggering, it's "amicable" because I keep choosing to be the bigger person but really I just want to scream at him to fuck off and scream to the whole world what a horrible, abusive bastard he is. People think he's great and not many know the truth about him. We have kids who love their dad. I do it for them.

But how do I handle my rage at what he did to me and how do I let go of the hope I will feel validated. The divorce just makes me feel like he's landed on his feet once more, Scott free of consequence, because I choose to keep it civil. I'm so fucking sick of it. I just want to be divorced and for it to be over and free of him.

Anger is a phase you go through in dealing with grief. You will come through it and move past the anger eventually. It takes time in my experience. Has it been long since the breakup?

Exercise worked wonders for me. Others may say therapy helped them.

www.choosingtherapy.com/stages-of-grief-divorce/

I'm in the same place as you.

STBEXH. After nearly 20 years half of which married and with 3 very young children just left one weekend morning out of the blue and that was it

I often feel denied and cheated out of at least a period of fighting between us in the run up to that day where I could have at least aired my feelings. Scream and shout and tell him what I really think of him. Instead I've just got on with it and feel I am far more amicable than he deserves.

I'm waiting for him to sign the financial consent order and then I'm going to be more honest with him

I do get my own back in some ways though which makes me feel a bit better

• I didn't sugar coat to the children why he left. I refuse to shoulder any of the blame in this and made it clear this was his choice and his alone

• I'm open with people about what's happened - I tell them what he did. I don't feel the need the protect and/or lie for him