Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

FSM vouchers & Child Maintenance

16 replies

FramRed · 14/12/2022 08:09

Hi, This is a bit of a two-for-one question. Background: 2 children, divorced from their father (very controlling) and I'm now remarried. The kids live between the two houses. Always had a private arrangement where all costs for the kids were split - he'd set this up and made me sign a document saying that's what we'd do. He kept lots of the direct debits for the kids clubs and phones etc on his account so sends me an email each month asking for half of his spend and I deduct off anything I pay out. I'm now on Universal Credit for the first time ever and the kids on FSM and money is very tight. I'm considering whether to apply for child maintenance but not sure I can with the living arrangements (half/half) and financial arrangements as they are-would I even be eligible? Is it fair to claim? He earns a good wage as did I but now I can't afford to pay out for the kids stuff to the same degree. It would help in reducing contact with him too which would be really good as he still tries to control. Also, I've just received FSM vouchers from the children's school to help over the Christmas period. One went to his email address and he wants to keep it but surely the vouchers have been given based on my financial status not his so they're mine to spend on the children how I see fit aren't they? Or is that not fair? Any advice welcome, thank you.

OP posts:
panko · 14/12/2022 08:11

He could say fine I'll pay maintenance but this replaces our existing agreement so I'd work out which will make you better off.

millymollymoomoo · 14/12/2022 08:43

If it’s 50:50 split with equal nights you won’t be due cms a a ne of course if it was awarded based on not being an exact split he’ll most likely stop paying half if everything and expect you to out of the cms

I’d say you’ll most likely end up worse off tbh…,,

bloodyeverlastinghell · 14/12/2022 08:46

I think you should get the vouchers as based on your income. If it is 50/50 you won't get much/ any maintenance anyway.

Ohheckethump · 14/12/2022 08:49

It sounds like the current arrangement is fair apart from you wanting to reduce contact.
I do agree though the FSM voucher is based on your income so should go to you.
If you are struggling then you need to look at reducing the clubs and looking to see if you can get a cheaper deal on the phones.

ohioriver · 14/12/2022 08:56

If it's 50/50 you won't get any maintenance I don't think.

bloodyeverlastinghell · 14/12/2022 09:20

It isn't unreasonable to say to your ex that you can no longer afford half of the costs of dc clubs etc. If you were still together you'd have to go through outgoings due to your reduced circumstances. Work out what you can afford and what needs to be cut. Cheaper data plans for dc etc.

taxpayer1 · 14/12/2022 11:40

So you think it would be good to reduce contact as with 50:50 you will not receive child maintenance?

millymollymoomoo · 14/12/2022 12:56

Don’t think op was saying reduce children’s time with ex, only that she’d like to reduce the amount of contact she has to have with her ex over money and costs…..

YomAsalYomBasal · 14/12/2022 13:02

If it's a true 50/50 split you won't get any maintenance anyway, so I wouldn't rock the boat. You can say that you can no longer afford certain activities so the DCs need to stop those activities if he can't pay all of it.
Re the vouchers you could ask school if they'll send them to you in future but I can see why they may have sent you one each.

taxpayer1 · 14/12/2022 13:04

millymollymoomoo · 14/12/2022 12:56

Don’t think op was saying reduce children’s time with ex, only that she’d like to reduce the amount of contact she has to have with her ex over money and costs…..

Oh. I see. Fair enough. CMS is good for that as there is no need for contact.

taxpayer1 · 14/12/2022 13:10

You are sharing the costs half/half. That is how it is supposed to be. If you cannot afford your side of the activities, they need to withdraw from some. CMS will be 0.

Original poster
FramRed · 14/12/2022 13:20

Yes -@millymollymoomoo @taxpayer1 just reduce the contact I have to have, not the children's time with their dad. They love having it split as it is so no change to that. I just want to have less reasons to communicate with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
FramRed · 14/12/2022 13:21

@taxpayer1 to be honest, that's what I thought but had been told I should look into it. Thanks

OP posts:
cantcope88 · 14/12/2022 13:33

any reason why you or your new husband can't work? This would help your financial situation

Original poster
FramRed · 14/12/2022 16:38

@cantcope88 I didn't say we didn't work only that I was on Universal Credit. We both do actually. We've set up a new business and put our hard-earned money from previous jobs into it but due to the current climate, new businesses (and existing ones!) are struggling. Until it starts delivering profit, we need the support of Universal Credit but as soon as possible I want to be off it at the first opportunity....quite clearly there is a stigma attached!

OP posts:
cantcope88 · 15/12/2022 06:49

To qualify for FSM you need an extremely low income - 99% of people who claim them do not work.
no stigma attached to UC. Just curious how being remarried you both qualified for FSM

New posts on this thread. Refresh page