What do I do?

[velvetcandy]

My husband and I are recently separated but we’re currently living in the same house.
We have four kids under 12. I recently got a job after being a sahm for 12 years to fit in around the school run because my ex husband won’t do the school runs, I only earn £800 a month. Ex husband has cut me off financially I.e food shopping petrol clothes that kinda stuff. He still pays the mortgage which is around £900 and all the household bills. He earns £66K plus commission. What can anyone advise we do in our situation? I don’t earn enough to take on the mortgage let alone the bills and he doesn’t earn enough to still pay the house and move out. I’m so unhappy and just want to sort the situation out. I’ve suggested we share the kids one week on one week off that he’s agreed too but our living arrangements are dire and need sorting

File for divorce
agree boundaries in the house while having to share ( it’s reasonable that he can’t afford to rent and maintain mortgage )
look at what benefits you can claim as a single person in the interim

then start to think about longer term
housing
child arrangements
financial split and settlement
cms
working full time ?

You need to see a lawyer with all the details you can gather, including his pension etc. It sounds like the house will have to be sold?

How’s he going to handle having them all week if he won’t do school runs?

obtain legal advice, like PP said the marital home may have to be sold and proper maintenance sorted, you may well end up in a better financial position.

There won’t be maintenance if they have 50/50 contact. And they’ll have the same housing needs so she won’t get a much larger share of the assets.

But it sounds like him actually doing 50/50 is unlikely given he can’t seem to cope with school runs, poor thing 🤦‍♀️ so I’d tread carefully agreeing to that or OP will end up with all the drudgery anyway.

“Share the kids one week on one week off” means he takes responsibility for the kids during his week. That means doing the school runs. It means covering any sick days or doctors appointments. it means paying all child expenses on his time including clothing, school meals, and child care.

start by not agreeing to a shared custody plan with enormous financial implications without actually making sure he plans to meet his obligations. You should be free to work full-time during his week, which means it might be worth putting the kids into wrap-around care during your week in order to facilitate having a full-time job.