Equity split disagreement Divorce

[JK200]

Hi,

I'm hoping someone can advise please. My husband who I was married to for 17 years and had 2 kids with (youngest 17) walked out early last year. He emptied our joint account the night he went and smashed up downstairs and due to his behaviour, my eldest doesn’t talk at all to him. I later found he had someone else but as I couldn’t prove at the time, started the divorce using unreasonable behaviour. As he said he couldn’t afford the mortgage payments, he agreed to a 60/40 equity split and payments for my youngest child (eldest an adult) of £100pw. I have paid all bills and mortgage since he left. He confirmed his payments in WhatsApp messages which I have. I spent £2k on solicitor fees to draw up a consent order which was sent to him but nothing was heard for about 13 months. I have been chasing him and today I finally received a letter from his solicitor via mine saying he if he went to csa, he would only have had to pay £7 per week as he’s helping his new partner with bills now so of the £100 he has been paying, £93 of it was actually towards the mortgage and bills each week ! so now he is looking for at least 50% equity. The other things he has objected to are minor and I am happy to remove like paying his sons phone bill however the letter was full of lies about my character which I was shocked about. I earn about £58k a year, he earns about £42k, house worth £475k, mortgage £224k. At decree nisi hearing , judge ordered he repaid divorce fees to me but I haven’t had anything so far. Mortgage interest only payments are £250pm. Children both live with me and refuse to meet his new partner. Please can someone advise if I should fight for 60% or just accept 50% and be done with it? The thing is he has lied and I’m so hurt and there is a difference of £40k here and I live in London so need a certain amount for a deposit on a new place. I know my money will go to my kids but he would just waste it. Any advice would be appreciated.

Is he self employed or via employed via PAYE? If he is PAYE, it will be easier to get maintenance for your youngest.
Does your youngest stay with him overnight ever? If no he owes 12% of gross salary after pension which is not equal to £7.
Are there any other assets of the marriage? Savings, pensions or cars?
Any debts.
All need to be declared and could offset the equity he is after.

Thank you. My child has never stayed overnight at his and hasn’t even been asked to. He is PAYE but I assume has delayed the whole process as my youngest turns 18 in a couple of months. He has a £1k car, I have a work car so not mine. We both have pensions, suspect my work one is bigger than his. No savings and a small debt of £1k that I have been paying.

What’s your relative incones and
oensions pots
without understanding that no one can advise
tbh I’d forgot the cms ( galling but not worth the fight as your youngest is nearly 18)
if your pension is higher that might bring your equity share down
what is your solicitor advising ?

Even the CMS won't 'refund' overpayment OP, so he's grasping if he thinks he's entitled to any of his 'voluntary contribution' back as part of the divorce. Not a chance.

He owes you for 50% of the mortgage and buildings insurance since moving out, he also should be paying cms on top!

Speak to your solicitor but I think he is wrong about how low the cms is, in which case you should be able to get all his unpaid contributions to the mortgage plus court awarded fees from the house proceeds

Legally he does not owe her half the mortgsge since moving out

he’s not owed anything back re his maintenance payments

I can’t figure out what process has been followed. But it sounds like neither of you either disclosed assets or earning. The consent order could be challenged on that basis alone.

I would go back to basis. The WhatsApp messages are meaningless. Unless you have both disclosed all your assets and taken independent legal advice then anything agreed is just back and forth.

The mortgage payments are a red herring. You benefit from his share of the house and arguably you should pay for that.

Make a CSA claim because it sounds like he isn’t earning and that has implications for the asset share.

Thank you all. I have drafted an email saying that I will remove any clauses to reclaim the mortgage payments that he hasn’t made as long as get 60% equity share and go from there

Alot in divorce comes down to negotiations but from what I’ve read if your children are almost 18 and long marriage, most likely split is 50 50 of marital pot (so equity in house and pensions and any other assets). Did your solicitor advise you could expect more and why? If so I’d consider getting a 2nd opinion personally.

It must have been very traumatic that your ex treated you so badly, but that’s on him. Emotions run high with divorce but try to step back and think about what you want. Is it really worth fighting tooth and nail for something you may or may not get financially (I.e if 50 50 is more realistic and likely to bring your divorce to a speedier conclusion would you not be better off moving on rather than continuing with the stress and anger of a divorce battle). Perhaps speak to another solicitor and see a counsellor to help you find the right choices for you. You earn a good salary and may have a stressful job, do you want divorce battle stress on top if you can avoid it?

With my divorce I ended up 30k down but was advised court would have cost 30k. My ex earned more and my life would have been easier with the money. It annoys me that my ex short changed me and I told him if he ever develops a conscience to send me a cheque - but I don’t regret the decision. If it went to court it may or may not have gone my way. I chose to walk away from negativity and the stress of a court battle. Try to take a step back to work out what your best option is.