Domestic abuse, need to leave

[Timetoleavetimetobefree]

Hi

i am getting ready to leave my abusive husband. Today he told me and my son to fuck off. I need to protect my children from this vile man.
I work full time, my children are old enough to not need childcare. I want him to leave but we both own the house and are married.
I don’t know where to start.
he is physically, and emotionally abusive. I left him once before kids but came back. What do I need to do to get ready to get him out. I’m scared but I’m also scared that I won’t be strong enough to end the relationship.
he told me he would take my kids off me if I left. He is a horrible man

I tried to end relationship on New Year’s Eve but he refused to leave house and stay at his parents. He told me I would need to pay him money each month so he can afford to live. He’s manipulating me but I’m not giving in, it’s just going to be harder to get away from him. I spoke with womens aid online which was helpful but I need to get things in place before I can end relationship for good. I am going to get my kids and dog a house. He can have our home, I don’t care. Just want us all safe and away from him.

The coirt will decide financials not him.
Get yourself safe then see lawyer

Court

He will be a very manipulative little shit right up until you get rid of him, and then it might ramp up after the fact, but you are amazing and will deflect his bullshit.

Thank you so much for all the support and encouragement . Every time I read a comment it gives me focus and strength. I want a better life for my children and myself. I grew up in an abusive household and I want to break the cycle so my kids can go on to have healthy relationships and happy lives.
For the first time in my life I feel like I deserve better too.

A lot has happened, not much good.
At new year, I asked him to leave but he refused.
yesterday I separated from him and he agreed he would stay at his parents. We told my kids, everyone.
this morning the bastard says he’s not leaving and I have to leave without the children. He said he is their main carer and said I’m the one to leave. He used my physical disability against me.
he wouldn’t talk to me without my children being present to control me and the fucking bastard manipulated the kids to say mum should leave etc. I said I will come back to the relationship as I didn’t want to loose my kids.
he then said I’m so worried for you’re mental health. You ended it with me and now you want to be with me. I don’t want to be with him, he was making me choose myself or my kids and I chose my kids.
so now he thinks we are together and so does everyone else apart from my closest trusted friends/family. Now I have to pretend until I can get us out.
my kids are already turned against me so will not leave. I can’t leave some kids behind and take 1.
ive been getting advice from womens aid and they’ve given me numbers which I will ring when I am safe to do so.

it is such an awful situation. He is so horrible. I actually hate him for what he’s doing to my kids and I. I want to get us out, all of us. It’s so bad. Now he’s planning day trips and presents like nothing has happened. Thank you for reading. I hope one day I will be free with my kids, safe and well

What's your condition? He's clearly using this against you! It's worth reaching out again for support from a local DV charity, try to meditate with him to leave.. he knows you won't go without the kids hence him coming back again. Same situation I was in last summer, in the end I left with a bag of clothes for me and the kids. We went into temporary accommodation - wasn't great but we made it home until we got more settled. We now have a new house, kids are happy and I'm so proud of myself for walking away. I appreciate it takes a lot of strength but until your decide it's time and put your big girl pants on nothing will change. I went on and on for years.. my mental state wasn't good, I was drinking to block it out and it's was bloody awful. You CAN change things, show him you mean it and never look back. Sending love and strength your way xx

If you feel frightened at any time please call the police when they are there explain everything, tell them he is trying to make everyone think you have mental health issues and are crazy, tell them he is using the children to manipulate you and you don’t want the kids to see or hear anything untoward and need to get out of the house. I’m not sure if you could go to the council and get emergency accommodation whilst this is going on. I had to give up a secure tenancy and go back into temporary housing where I’m sleeping on the living room floor on a mattress until something comes up for me but I feel peace and my kids are so much happier now. For your children’s sake and your please get out when you can. I wish you strength with dealing with it all 💐