How do you know if you have a good divorce solicitor ?

[15stonelighter]

Some way through the process now and I'm having doubts about the quality of service being provided by my solicitor.

Whn I signed up I warned them that after a long marriage, I just knew that my "excess 15 stone" would be hard to shift. He'd procrastinate, contest everything, be vile and grabby.
I actually underestimated him, on a scale of 1-10 for sneaky underhand tricks, he's already at level 20 !

The solictor whose practice it is assured me she'd seen it all over the years and had experience of dealing with such STBExs to ensure I was protected as much as possible and things were kept on track.

So far I've had dealings with the practice's legal executives instead of the main solicitor (which presumably should help with costs) but the most recent one now handling my divorce seems to have a caseload bigger than they can handle.
Everything is last minute, there are errors in the letters sent on my behalf to my H's solicitor and because it's last minute I'm not sent a copy to read/comment on until after it's been sent on my behalf. H is an intelligent man but a "nit-picker" and will take advantage of any such errors

I don't get in touch often in order to keep costs down but when I do, I have to chase up a reply by phone as e-mails are not answered promptly (it's crept up from a week to over 10 days+ for a reply and this is allowing the divorce proceedings to drag on).

I know we're supposed to compromise a little in order to eventually reach a financial resolution but if I give an inch H then chalks it up as a win and seeks to take another 12 inches. I'm being financially ripped off inch by inch and the vibe from the legal exec currently dealing with matters seems to be that I'm the one being difficult.

I think I need a more hard-ball solicitor with great attention to detail but as a professional person myself, I don't want to be "that client", you know, the one who thought they could do better.

Has anyone changed solicitor during the process, does anyone regret staying with their origianl solicitor. ? Any advice from solicitors welcome too.

I changed. I simply stopped using my solicitor and dealt with the divorce myself.

Ultimately, if the two parties can't agree then the judge decides, so file Form E, get a financial dispute hearing and take it from there, it's easy, just a question of filing in forms really.

Where are you at currently with the negotiations?

Sorry posted too soon.

Meant to say that i knew my ex would just piss about for years so I very early on decided to represent myself I did have a barrister with me in court on the day but I hired him via the Direct Access scheme.

The final outcome was I was awarded 50% of the assets. My ex was trying to get 80% of the assets. I had 3 dependant children living at home with me at the time though.

@DenholmElliot11

We're at the valuation of assets stage.

Can I ask, how old were your dependant children and how long had you been married ?

Unfortunately quite a few divorce solicitors seem a tad incompetent. Having to chase for any sort of response and things taking an age were my experience, then being charged for the pleasure. Ultimately if you are presented with a ridiculous bill there is an ombudsman you can complain to (costs solicitors around 650 quid if you complain so most will knock a bit off the bill if they have been ripping you off).

However, really once you have been given advice on a likely settlement, there is little point in endless divorce letters and some solicitors are over aggressive which can just lead to court ultimately. Better to use it as a fact finding expedition and once you have your advice - go straight to mediation if you feel your ex is not being reasonable. Mediation gives people more of a reality check and pushes matters to conclusion.

Also focus on the big picture and overall settlement. Point scoring on either side serves no purpose.

I’m a lawyer. Before you change solicitors, ask to speak to the supervising partner and tell them that you are concerned about the handling of your file. You have to chase for a response to your emails (thereby increasing your fees) and communications to your soon to be ex contain errors and typos which he ceases upon and this is unacceptable. Ask them how they propose dealing with it. Tell them that you would like to review all communications before they are sent out.

Changing solicitors will increase your costs so best to try and get a better service from your current solicitors first.

@Potluck22

I'd love to focus on the big picture and reaching an overall settlement. H however is determined to fight each and every stage to make sure he doesn't miss out on a single cent as a result of the divorce.

H was not interested in mediation, believed it to be a trap or biased process.

I would not enter mediation with H now as he has turned very aggressive (mostly verbal but some physical too) as a result of me pressing on with the divorce process. I've been advised it's not suitable in such circumstances.

I am keeping a log of the solicitors' advice/actions which I belive have added to delays/cost me extra in fees. I've already intervened twice in a way which has saved additional (unnecessary) fees. I'm really not sure the supervising partner will do anything other than back-up the staff involved.

@Mumsanetta

Is it not usual to be shown a copy of proposed replies to the other party's solicitors before they are sent ?
It would certainly make sure they have not misunderstood anything and wrongly represented it to H's solicitor. This wastes charged for time with corrections etc but I suspect it's because everything is so last minute and deadlines aren't allowing time for me to review it and get back to them

It looks bad on other party if they refuse mediation.

In my experience, solicitor letters only work where parties are reasonable and open to reasonable negotiation. Otherwise its a lot of wasted time money and effort. You may have to go to court ultimately if no othet option ofcourse

@Potluck22

We're working towards an upcoming court appointment at the moment due to H's aggressively combative approach to the whole divorce process.