Thoughts please

[freedomforme]

Recently separated form husband of 15 years, have DS (8) Husband now been charged with DA. Police were less than impressed when presented with the evidence

I honestly never expected the backlash from his family, who are now not speaking to me.

I look back now and I'm so angry with myself that I put up with his behaviour, that I thought it was normal. Has anyone else felt like this?

What do you mean less than impressed? They didn't believe you?

Well done for getting out.

They did believe me, they were presented with the evidence

I'm so glad I'm out, however the guilt is now eating away at me as it's obvious his family now don't want anything to do with me and are taking his side. The police were furious when they were going through my phone etc (non physical)

Anyone had anything similar? I didn't expect to feel like this

It's difficult because:

1. People have very different attitudes to what abuse actually is; and
2. Provable abuse from one party might only be the tip of the iceberg in an acrimonious relationship (i.e. just because one party gets it on record, they might be just as bad themselves. Abusers often try and manipulate the other person to get a reaction out of them);
3. When there is abuse, it's hard to be believed.

From what you've said, I imagine what's going on are they're his family and in their opinion all he's done is call you names which the more old fashioned among them might not consider abuse and maybe they've seen you give him some back in the past (because he pushed a reaction out of you)?

I wouldn't worry overly about them, you've done the right thing.