What do you do about birthdays?

[Lavenderfowl]

We’ve sorted the Christmas arrangements to follow what DD wants to do (XH isn’t best pleased), but what happens on birthdays? If it’s a weekend she’s due to be with him and wants to be there that’s fine - I’ll put on a happy face - but if she’d rather be at home do I make that happen or insist that it’s a dad weekend? She’s 7 in case that makes a difference.

exH and I tend to share them. We have roughly stuck to every-other-year, but dc’s opinions are asked too. My youngest is 9, so not much older than yours, and is currently happy to have the day based at either mine or exH’s, depending on the year. We tend to have a birthday outing with all of us together anyway, sometimes on the day (ds tends to choose this), sometimes on a convenient weekend day, so the day is shared anyway.

it works well enough for us as a whole. Dd2 doesn’t really see her dad much, but is older (16) so it’s up to her.

I would suggest following your agreed contact schedule. In the long term it will likely be in her best interests to spend some significant dates with Dad. If she is reluctant to go, your job is to jolly her along. She's 7, not 17. She's not in a position to judge what is in her own long-term best interests.

Thanks both, your ideas and advice have been really helpful.