I left my childrens dad 2years ago, various reasons including heavy drinking and domestic abuse against me and the fact he didn’t want to parent or help with his children, I could write a book.
Since leaving I have had threats of not paying maintenance and not seeing the kids if he doesn’t get his way, if I agree to what he wants then he’s fine and most of the time I’ve bitten my tongue and been the civil party.
So he took the kids to stay with family in august and completely took the mick and breached my trust, he then asked to take them on a cruise with his alcoholic parents, he also has a drink problem, the kids are 3 and 6, I said I wasn’t comfortable with this and explained my very good reasons why and that there safety comes first. I got abuse from him as usual and nothing else was mentioned again.
I reached out to him last night about arranging Christmas and he said he would have them 25th -29th and would be cancelling his weekend with them as it lands on NYE, He only has them 1night every 2weeks Saturday - Sunday so is very minimal. I said weekends are set and that he couldn’t just have them those dates because I have plans with the kids on some of those days.
He then started hurling abuse at me bringing up my new boyfriend and telling me I’m a shit mum and don’t put my kids first ext.
I do everything for them and he barley sees them.
He also has a secret child he fathered years ago that he has never wanted to know.
Apparently his family have booked a cottage for Christmas but I don’t see why that means I’ve got to agree to dates he wants when I didn’t even know anything about this cottage, they’ve just booked it and assumed I’ll just let them do what they want.
He is now saying that when I took my kids abroad I didn’t have his permission and he’s taking them on holiday whether I like it or not ext ext.
I ordered their passports in May and provided proof of them living solely with me and there were no problems at the airport, I took there birth certificates and other documents to the airport in case, but no airport staff questioned anything, will the passports have something flag up showing the information provided when I ordered them?
I'm just really worried now because I am taking them away again next year.
I contacted a mediator a year ago, he refused mediation and I was told I could get a live with order to make sure there would be no issues with things like holidays, stupid me never did it because I couldn’t face court and he had started being ok with me so I left it.
What I’m wondering now is where to go from here? Do I leave it and hope it blows over? Or do I contact mediation about the live with order? Will they do it now after it being so long?
I'm just so drained from it, I put my kids first at all times and all he does is pull me down.
He has also admitted he slates me to the kids and it’s effecting my 6 year olds mental health.
I’ve never said a bad word about him to them or stopped him seeing them but I’m at the point of feeling like stopping it.
I've had anxiety and anxiety from what he put me through and I’ve had to do domestic violence programmes because of what he put me through and I just cannot take anymore.
Sorry for the long post.