Planning on moving out with DS

[Eleyne]

Hi all,

I've started the divorce process but it's going to take months and I don't see the point in staying in the same house with STBEX. It feels pointless and I really want to move on and settle in my own space with DS as soon as possible.

I'm not sure I'm prepared mentally for the financial responsibilities and what scares me the most is the cost of living and ongoing expenses.

If any of you have moved out can you please share some insight into what should I consider as my monthly expenses, small and big.

I will be renting a house until the market settles a bit and also the divorce goes through. (I'm not sure that is a good idea in itself).

Can you help with some advice, please?

Hi, it doesn’t sound like you’re fully ready to move out to be honest. Maybe take a bit more time to think through your situation and ensure that you’re financially & mentally prepared.
Has the divorce been a long time coming or is it still new and raw in your decision making?
In terms of finances, you’ll need to factor all of the items you already budget for each month, but remove any you wouldn’t need in your new house (sky packages etc that you might drop) and research any financial support you’d be entitled to as a single person.
For some things like food, you won’t know until you’re on your own but I imagine your food bill will go down because there’ll be two of you instead of three. You obviously need to consider the cost of everything coming out of your take home pay (assuming your husband contributes currently) but if you’re taking your son (and you’ve agreed this arrangement with your husband) then I assume there would be a financial contribution coming from him also.
Housing market is a tricky one, buying can take months anyway so renting may be the solution in the interim, or it may make sense to live in your current house until you’ve saved up & received money from your husband buying you out or selling the house. I do understand the urge to get on with your life, I really do, but try to slow down - others before have talked about this being a marathon not a race. Pace yourself x

Thank you for replying and your advice.
I'm firm about my decision and it's something I've been thinking about and preparing for, for a long time.
However, I don't think I'm prepared mentally for what lies ahead. I don't think it'll be until I make that move.
Things will be much easier if/when contributions start coming from my husband but I aim to be prepared for the next steps without it.
I'm financially stable, mentally ready, but I'm looking for the unknowns - things that are beyond my imagination and research.
So, I was hoping to get some advice from people who have walked in those shoes for a while and could share their knowledge.

@Eleyne just seen your thread from November. Did you make the move? I had to move out two years ago at very short notice. I owned a house that had a tenant in so had to rent elsewhere while I gave my tenants notice. Setting up another home cost a lot of money but people generously gave us lots of things. It’s quite scary being responsible for all the bills when everything is going up and also having to deal with all the house maintenance tasks myself . I am also still fighting for my share of the house we lived in and have incurred legal fees . We are much happier and more relaxed though and it has been worth it .