DH has major depression and anxiety issues, he recently stopped drinking because I said that's enough. He's successful at work won't do anything around the house. We have a 2 year old son. There were episodes of DH shouting at me and being delusional thinking I cheated when this has never happened. I though it was because of his drinking. But now when he stopped he can still be vile. He had smashed the door the other day and that scared our son. That was the last straw and I said we have to split up. He agrees. I was initially so thrilled about it and now I realize I won't be able to afford mortgage and nursery fees.. I work 4 days a week earning £1500 a month, he earns £3600. Now he wants 50/50 childcare but I don't think this is best for our son he's so attached to me he won't fall asleep without me and only wants me at night. It breaks my heart thinking I will lose him for 50% of the time, he'll have to live in two houses, that I won't afford a mortgage, I don't have any relatives to inherit anything so will have to rent all my life I guess. We have debts for car loan and when we sell the house we'll probably have £40 000 after all tax, etc. Can I mediate childcare? I don't care about the money I just want my baby with me.. am I selfish? I was in denial phase and now at bargaining. Shall I spend all I have on solicitors to get better childcare arrangement? I would happily agree on every other weekend. Although DH was violent to me smashing furniture and calling me names and being delusional thinking I looked him in the eye and smiled when that didn't happen I know he loves DS and apart of that one incident he always tries his best around him. I don't think he'll shout or be snappy with DS I think he'll try to be the best dad he can. However I also don't want my 2yo to spend time away from me and not being able to tell me if anything happened because he is too young to talk. How on earth do I navigate all of this?? I feel like in one night I lost a house, a future, and a child