Need some clarification on 50/50 child arrangements

[Mishski]

Hi.

My children's father and I have been separated for quite a few months now. We currently have a 50/50 'shared care' arrangement for our 3 children, so they are with me for 7 out of 14 nights. They are only actually staying with their father overnight though for 5 of his 7 nights as 2 of those nights are spent with his parents. Am I right in thinking that those nights with their grandparents count towards 'his nights'?

I'm asking in respect of child maintenance, as he is currently paying nothing.

I cannot find anything about this online at all so posting here to hopefully find an answer 🙏

Thank you!

I believe you are correct. Of he os responsible for them on those nights, how he discharges that responsibility makes no difference.

I no expert though

Yes they’re his nights

Yes. He’s responsible for them, you don’t have any associated costs if they are at his parents.

Yes I'd think so, would be the same as if you got your parents or a friend to babysit on one of your nights. They would still count as your nights.

If his parents were ill or for any other reason couldn't have the kids, who would pick up the slack? that's the parent that counts for those nights.

Sounds deeply unsettling for your children this arrangement.

Yes must be really strange. 5 nights with dad, 2 nights with grandparents, 7 nights with mum. Can't imagine it myself. OP they are his nights.

Yeah it is, and the worst part is that I know he's only set it up that way so that he doesn't have to pay any maintenance. Unfortunately I was an idiot and felt like I had to agree for certain reasons and now having to go to mediation to rectify it.

Thanks for the responses everyone 👍🏼

presumably divorcing?

have you got a solicitor?

Can you not just have them the extra two nights? They shouldn't have to split their time across three households and I think courts would agree with this, especially if they also feel this way.

Not married thank god, but its been a bit of a complicated split regardless unfortunately

Yes I could and I want that, but it hasn't gone down very well when I said I wasn't happy with the arrangement anymore.