Would you forgive infidelity?

[Pippa0321]

Hi all, please don't judge but I'd like to hear from people who have forgiven infidelity and have continued the relationship with that person.

I am pregnant and my boyfriend from over five years has cheated several times during our relationship - I just found out now that I'm 7 weeks pregnant.
He has always been a very very good boyfriend to me and the times he has cheated it has been just sex (that I know). I would have never expected this from him of all people and we have been trying for this baby for over a year.

I'm not saying I'm going to forgive and continue this relationship after everything he has done to me but as you can imagine I'm in a very difficult situation being pregnant and despite everything, I do love him and he loves me, I just want everything to go back to how it was before I found out a few days ago :(

If this happened to you, what did you do and if you decided to continue with the relationship, how did it go? Did he cheat again or you managed to go through everything and it never happened again? Thank you x

He has always been a very very good boyfriend to me

No he hasn't. He's cheated on you several times.
I wouldn't have forgiven him the first time he did it...let alone subsequent times

I would also end the relationship immediately and terminate.
I forgave my husband for a drunk one night stand 9 years ago when he was on a very long business trip. I made it very clear there would not be another chance. You have a repeat offender who is taking the piss out of you.

Op, you are having a child and not married. You have no legal or financial rights to his assets. You will be in a very vulnerable situation if you rely On him financially.
That is your biggest risk right now.

add to that he is not committed to you, in terms of cheating, never mind committing financially or legally to supporting you and the child through marriage.

you must, if you are going ahead with this pregnancy, secure your finances, housing, etc as if you are going to be single for the foreseeable future. Do not rely on him for that at all. If you share a home, move now somewhere on your own so you are not dependant on him. Look at what benefits can support you and your future child.

then when he cheats again, and he will as he knows he can push your boundaries and get away with it, you can make your decisions based on your emotions knowing your financial security will not be effected

Do not, in any shape or form, rely on this man to support you financially, legally or even emotionally.

The question here is really whether you feel you can stay with a man who will cheat on you and be happy with that? It’s not a one time thing, mistake etc because you say it’s been several times. And his love is questionable- why would he act in ways which he knows will hurt you when he says he loves you? Personally I think he will continue to cheat and eventually leave you. Don’t give up all of your independence if you stay with him.

Similar though we weren’t married (previous relationship).

There is a difference between falling off the fidelity wagon and never having been on the wagon in the first place. Your BF has never been faithful, so he never will be faithful.

I was with my partner for 20years then he cheated and had an affair. I desperately want to forgive him but I am unsure how the reality of that would play out. Anyway it doesn't natter much as the reason he had the affair was that our relationship had been breaking down for while, he can't communicate and at pressed he can't even work out if he eoukd want yo give us another try (long complicated story, and also who knows anyways truth and honesty!).

The reason I felt i wanted yo comment is the fact that you mentioned you were pregnant. The impact of this situation on my kids has been horrific especially my 17yr old son, and if I could have spared them this heartache I truly would have. The fact you partner has done this repeatedly suggests to me he will nit change, so getting out now might help spare your children longer term.

Wishing you love and support in whatever you decide. Remember to value yourself and if you are not then ask yourself why? Digging deeper might help build you stronger for your future x

Hi, my partner has just done this - drunk one night stand. Are you still together? How did you get over this?

Pregnancy is no cure or preventative for infidelity. The cheating is not related to your physical status. You have established a pattern of willingly living with his infidelity so why should he change now? He was not cheating because you were child less. He was cheating because that is who he is.