In divorce and financial settlement do look after the old(er) woman you will become...
and of course bearing in mind the welfare of any child of the family is the first priority.
Pensions can be as, if not more, valuable than the former martial home in some cases.
(I see you have estimated the value of the former matrimonial home. I can give some information on a process for getting a valuation for it if that would be helpful?)
Getting an independent valuation of the pensions - (CETVs and / or pensions on divorce expert report) - before making any agreements or offers to split / share them, or offset them against other assets, like the former marital home, is important. Make sure parties have all the assets "on the table", along with documentary evidence of their value / worth first - and this includes pensions.
Regarding pensions on divorce expert / actuarial reports
Pensions on divorce expert reports can cost £1,500 - £2,000 + VAT.
A comprehensive report from a “top” actuary might be £2,000-4,000 depending on the scope of the report and the number of pensions included, as well as the complexity of the circumstances / instructions.
The scope of the report is determined by the instructions the parties give the actuary.
The instructions are usually agreed in advance by the parties.The actuary can help parties to "pin down" the exact instructions for the report as part of the process.
Costs for the report are usually split 50 / 50. While one party can offer to pay for the report in full, instructions are still jointly agreed.
Generally, the report sets out what the pensions are worth - not just in terms of the CETVs (Cash Equivalent Transfer Values) - but also with (an)other model(s) which are usually more in depth.
The report usually shows what a 50 /50 split of the capital value of the pension is, and how pensions would be split to achieve equalisation of incomes.
It is well worth getting calculations for both 50 / 50 split of the capital value of the pension and how pensions would be split to achieve an equalisation of incomes.
Instructions given to the actuary include the retirement age of the parties.
Choosing one, rather than various retirement age scenarios, for each party keeps costs down.
Parties can however instruct the actuary to do calculations for you both at various ages 55, 60, 65 and later.
Or parties can just instruct on the actual intended retirement age of each party as this is the most likely scenario. Each party may chose to have a different retirement age based on their individual circumstances or needs (one might retire at 55, the other 65) .
The actuary will guide you through the process from initial contact, through to instructing her / him on what to include in calculations and the assumptions you want them to make, as well as data gathering, production of the report, and questions / queries after the report is produced.
Full and Frank Financial Disclosure
Aside from a pensions on divorce expert report, at the very least CETVs should be shared by parties and any reluctance to do so might be an indication of where the money is (I read this on another thread and thought it was helpful).
Do look at Form E to see what full and frank disclosure looks like – and what is required of parties by the court.
Documentary evidence showing what each of the marriage asset is worth including pensions is `requirement.
Full and frank disclosure can be gained through exchange of Form E, and followed up in Questionnaires, and chased up in Deficiencies. If not forthcoming still, and lack of disclosure persists a letter from a solicitor can be served and a court order applied for and issued to ensure compliance.
Once all the assets are on the table and parties know for sure what each of them are worth, they can decide on a split that is reasonable, fair and in accordance needs - with the priority being welfare of any child of the family.
Please see my previous posts for links to sources of legal advice and information. This is not my profession.
Mumsnet suggest
See www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1973/18/section/25
Hope this helps:)