How likely is it that my solicitor could be wrong?

[piscespickle]

I am halfway through divorce and spending a fortune trying to agree on finances. My stbxh has painted a very convincing picture of us being broke with lots of debt. He’s self-employed. He’s kept a tight control on finances over the years and I trusted him.

My solicitor however, having gone through his Form E (he has withheld some information) is convinced that he is very wealthy.

He has made me a clean break offer and is putting pressure on me to accept and tie things up. My solicitor is convinced that what I should be looking at receiving is almost five times more what he’s offered!

He has form for dishonesty and is as slippery as shit but I just can’t get my head around any of it and don’t know who to believe.

Those close to me who I’ve told are equally convinced that he’s a liar and has spent years gaslighting, controlling and abusing me.

His stories on all aspects of life never add up. He’s broke but can afford luxury holidays for himself. He’s fat but never eats. His business is booming but he can’t take a salary. You get the picture.

Mediation failed as he threatened me in the session.

I just don’t know who to believe. My solicitor seems really switched on. My DH is either stupid and crap with money or really clever and trying to stitch me up big time.

What are the chances of my solicitor being totally wrong on this?

You aren’t stupid. You are very smart.

You found yourself the proverbial Shit Hot Lawyer, and in turn, she found what you need for a comfortable financial future for you and your children

Thats something to feel quite proud of, I think

Thankyou. I do feel that physical separation would allow me to think clearly.

I appreciate everyone’s replies.

As you've still got kids then use them - (only in your mind, don't actually use them!) as your strength to fight.

You are not asking for money for yourself or challenging him for no reason.

This is your kids future. This is their security, their start in life. This is their fallback if times are hard when they're older and they need a safe haven at home with you for whatever reason. This is their choices, their ability to follow their dreams. This is their future. Fight!!

Fight, but be clever. You can perhaps influence the timing to some extent.

Can the confrontation on the money be delayed until you are accommodated separately?

I agree. Wealthy people trying to hide assets often get found out. They also often don’t. There’s quite a few women on here that have divorced the latter.

and yes the settlement should be 5 times what’s offered. But that’s down to what the solicitor can prove.

as an example the solicitor may be able to prove it should on be twice the amount in which case thousands and thousands in legal fees could have a huge impact on what op is left with.

Obviously, the solicitor may be able to prove it should be worth 5 times and the legal fee won’t have an impact. It’s all about (as you said) op knowing and understanding that aspect may make her feel better.

But I do think just blindingly believing solicitors can have its pitfalls too.

Go with the solicitor. Warn her that you are concerned about his reaction and she can delay everything until he’s out of the house.

It might feel like the rugs been pulled from under you right now, but be kind on yourself. We trust the ones we love.

Once it's sunk in, put your game face on and do battle. Don't be afraid to challenge him, what's the worst that can happen. You can do this!

You are getting some great advice OP, I just wanted to wish you the best of luck with your divorce. I hope once that turd is gone you can build a happy future for you and your children.

Turd 😂😂😂😂

thanks all xx

You think he’s hiding something but you don’t say what? Do you have a court date? You can ask questions once the form e has been received if you think something doesn’t look right or something is missing.

I don’t know what which is why I haven’t said. We’ve done form e and asked questions. No court date 😔