Sorry will be very long as dont want to dripfeed! Bit of background; I have been married for 5 years to my DH. Unfortunately, no financial consent order was sealed with the court on his divorce from his ex wife (Exw).
This has only recently come to light. Please be assured there was not any devious motive to deceive me but rather naivety (idiocy) on my DH's behalf. They did try to seek financial remedy but negotiations broke down and the absolute was granted. I did not meet him until 2 year post his divorce.
3 DC of the marriage. Youngest DC is now a teen, others mid to late 20s.
He left family home at her request and lived with a family member for about 18m as continued to pay all household costs including mortgage (except food) and unable to afford anywhere else. 40k of joint debt. Joint mortgage. Both employed. Not high earners.
Child arrangements agreed. Reside with mum, stay with dad one night in the week and Sat lunchtime to Sunday evening. Dad collects from school daily and gives evening meal, homework, afterschool clubs, kids parties ,dentist etc and return to family home or Mum collects. (Her decision). Holidays including public holidays and sickness days shared.
Child support paid at just above CMS rate but half to any additional costs (including trips , uniform, activities etc)
18 months after separation DH moved into a small rented house with help from family member and entered IVA for 30 k of the joint debt. EXW took over mortgage payments and running cost to family home plus 10k debt. Kept family car. Unable to take over mortgage in sole name so DH is still on mortgage.
Fast forward 7 years! Exw in a position to take over mortgage in sole name. Asked DH to sign over property over to her in its entirety as he had lost his 'rights' by re-marrying. At the time he was still paying off debt but agreed in principle as long as his equity share of the family homewas enough to pay the remaining debt (5k). She offered no equity and then a 1k cash amoint if he signed it over immediately otherwise she would go after his pensions.
It was at this point when going through all the old paperwork it was pointed out he did not have a consent order in place, so the agreement in place he thought they had was not legally binding. He was also remarried to me.
He made an offer of 96/ 4% equity (to Exw) and for them to have clean break order sealed in court.
Now we are at the stage of responding to the questionnaires following form E.
Some are fair enough and he has submitted similar. E.g Why did she stop paying in to a civil service payment in March this year etc? Why did he receive an extra 400 in his payslip in March this year?
Her questions mostly relate to me and my income! I know everything is needs based but we have submitted a clear budget of his needs and for the support of the dependants. We also submitted full household costs etc and as we don't share joint accounts I pay some bills from my current account and he pays some from his. However we do tend to treat the combined as a family pot so I may transfer an amount to him and vice versa ( I do all online purchases and he transfers to me etc) Holidays I may transfer some cash back to him for spends etc. He pays for our dogs daycare as he usually collects and I pay the insurance because I set it up! And so on and so on.
I am also divorced and was a single parent for a long time so I do have a lot of empathy for her but I think she believes I have a huge salary.I really feel as long as it can be show that I contribute to at least 50 of our household bills / holidays etc my wages are immaterial. She has also said he has rebuilt his life which is true but has taken it's toll. He is now over 50, will never be in a position toget on the property ladder again ( neither of us are sadly but we accept that) . Has not been able to maximise earning potential as he has worked around afterschool care and his responsibilities to his DC (quite rightly!) With my help has finally cleared the remainder of their marital debt. I own the family car he uses with his DC.
Not really sure what I am posting for except to wonder why my job title and salary is her concern ( Disclosure: my salary is HALF of hers) and refusing for it to be included in the responses (unless court ordered)
Phew if you got this far, thanks for reading!