XH has spent thousands booking his wedding before divorce is finalised

[lente]

I divorced woman-beater and emotionally abusive ex after a marriage of over twenty years. He has since found a gold digger who ignores all the red flags partner in record time and booked their wedding but the decree absolute isn't granted yet. I applied for it and they asked me to explain why it took so long between the nisi and applying for absolute, a period of just over one year. I explained that there were constant arguments about the financial arrangement and it took time to reach an agreement, hence the delay. So following that I think the absolute should come at any minute now. But I'm just gobsmacked at his confidence in booking in a grand wedding with someone he's known a couple of months before the divorce is final. I'm kinda hoping there's some unusual catastrophic delay and it doesn't come through on time. Big country manor wedding booked and invitations gone out. Our wedding was abroad so probably not on the UK "system" but the fact that we're divorcing means that it's on the records somewhere surely? The wedding is in four weeks

It’ll be on display at his local register office. Anyone can go take a look.

Some registrars now have a digital noticeboard but others are still pinning to the wall, old school style.

(Images from Google)

That's a really specific circumstance and I'm not 100% on it! The marriage would be legal in the sense there was no legal reason it shouldn't go ahead...if the divorce comes through he is free to marry. But the marriage is based on a false declaration at notice if he'd stated his condition to be single. The marriage certificate would presumably show single rather than previous marriage dissolved. To change his condition immediately before marriage he'd have to present the decree absolute on the day of the wedding, and if I was presented with that I'd be calling the general register office for guidance. It's definitely something you don't see every day so I'd be wanting someone else to give me the go ahead to marry them!

Regards giving notice, it is only displayed for 28 days so if you go to view it and it happens to be day 29 or 33 or whatever, you won't see it, but won't be able to know for sure it hadn't been given.

I agree. He's your ex - let it go. Nothing to do with you.

Spiritually and emotionally they have so not sure what the laughing faces are for

I mean it literally is. She's not divorced from him yet. She'd be doing the bride a favour.

Meh
I'd be holding off sending the paperwork back. Because apparently I'm an evil, bitter, selfish old witch who will never find happiness again, and jealous of his love for the new fiance.

😎

How about truthfully? Morally? Ethically? Their marriage is a lie. You are right, not something to laugh about after all.

DS was going through a messy divorce and her soon to be ex wouldn’t agree the financial settlement. She met his neighbour by chance who told her that he had already had the banns read and was planning to re-marry. It gave DS all the leverage she needed. I was however quite disappointed as I was looking forward to that Jane Eyre moment in church when the vicar says ‘is there anyone here who knows any reason ..’

Let it go. He’s moved on and you need to aswell. No point obsessing over him and his new partner.

They don’t seem to check though. It turned out ex dh had been married had two kids whole shebang. Didn’t declare it when we got married. They were divorced though. His younger child would of been 15 and I never knew.

You say "let it go - it's nothing to do with you" but if you're technically married to someone you do have a financial linkage and legal rights and responsibilities.
I have never been divorced so don't know much about it; would the existence of a decree nisi mean that it was recorded that all your finances were separate? I wouldn't want to risk my finances getting mixed up with theirs so would be tempted to tip off the registrar if it looked like he was about to commit bigamy at the last minute.
Hopefully the decree absolute will come through in time.

I agree with @PyongyangKipperbang . It’s a fake wedding to keep his Gf happy but not risk any of his cash by legally marrying her.

Shes not objecting yet because she doesn’t know it’s fake. She’s expecting a full
legal marriage and he won’t tell her that’s not happening until a few days before. He will then say that his bitch of an ex won’t “ sign the paperwork, she’s doing it to spite us and spoil your day because she’s a hateful person “.

Distraught OW / Mug will say that it’s too late to cancel everything, so he will helpfully suggest just a commitment service / whatever and they will do it legally when his divorce comes through.

They will no doubt already have a humanist celebrant lined up to do this and not a registrar / minister of religion as they conduct legal marriages. Minsters often do blessings but they need to see the legal paperwork first, they won’t do a fake weddings to fool everyone.

They will explain their problem to the celebrant who will Happily do a non religious commitment and they can say their own vows. It will look a lot like a marriage to anyone who isn’t listening carefully.

Then he will keep procrastinating on a legal marriage and she will be scared to complain / threaten / leave because it will be constantly about to happen next month .

Just like all the women on here who move in with a man, have three kids with him and give up work to care for them while “ waiting for a proposal “ which is always going to happen at the perfect time because “ he’s such a old fashioned romantic and wants to do it properly “.

Not sure why you’re so bothered about it, you’ve finally escaped. Forget him, move on.

people suggesting that you deliberately delay us just weird. What’s the point of that?

I recently got married for the second time, you have to give notice 28 days before your wedding ceremony and you have to prove you are legally divorced. There's no way he's given his notice so I'm guessing he's just hired a celebrant and isn't legally getting married.

@MrsSkylerWhite
I’m not sure about just letting it go. Of course there is the argument of ‘forgiving’ someone who has behaved badly to you.

On the other hand, it seems as if this man is about to commit a crime, and in which the law regards as fairly serious. Bigamy should be a serious crime, too, it is not ‘victimless’. The other spouse could be mentally, emotionally and financially damaged by this behaviour.

so on the whole I think the OP has a societal duty to be concerned about preventing a crime.

Thank you for all the replies (and pictures!) Still don't know what's going on for sure but will wait and see.

About those saying it's nothing to do with me. Um, at the moment there's no one more tied to him than I am (unfortunately, but hopefully that ends soon). The new woman is very new, XH has known the spices in his kitchen for longer than her. We haven't been separated long, his letters and parcels still come home, he's always popping in to take stuff he's left behind. Who do you think is left supporting the children while their dad is moving on so fast? As for all this having no effect on me. If he were to die the day after his wedding our children will be disinherited and the new woman would get 100% of his assets. However if I know that the marriage is not valid and report it they will get their entire inheritance. So you bet it does affect me, this isn't some rando or neighbour I'm rubbernecking at.

I haven't delayed sending in documentation by the way. In the very first post I mentioned that I've already done that.

If he were to die the day after his wedding our children will be disinherited and the new woman would get 100% of his assets.

OP I knew someone who (you could do this then, maybe not now) was fully divorced but had failed to sort the financial settlement with her XH. Over 10 years later she and her XH both died and at that point wife #2 had just started divorcing the XH. Took over 5 years to sort that one out, not good for the kids.

Glad to hear you are taking an active interest!

Not that your XH has to die, either, presumably if he fibs and says he is single, wife #2 could divorce him and maybe take some of his money... People don't always go to jail for bigamy but they do sometimes, so he would be cornered.

If he were to die after a non-legal ceremony while still married to OP, OP would be legally responsible for reporting the death and arranging/paying for the funeral!

I can kind of see why a non-legal commitment ceremony/party might be appealing to second time around couples but the fact is, marriage is a legal contract and until that contract is dissolved OP is her STBXH’s next of kin, whether she wants that status or not.

Imagine the drama if STBXH was in hospital and new ‘wife’ was prevented from visiting/dealing with paperwork due to OPs legal status as wife?

It’s daft of the G/F and OP’s separated ex to not wait for him to be legally free, regardless of whether they want a marriage contract together or not (is it possible that the G/F is still married to someone else too?)

I’d definitely be keeping an eye on the situation, although I presume it’s more likely to be a non legally binding relationship celebration party than a bigamous fraud (too easy to get caught when you still live near the first wife/have kids together etc).

Neither the nisi or absolute finalise finances, this has to be done separately. I don't even think they invalidate a will (ie if ex spouse dies, assets still go to the named beneficiary if that is the former wife).

You have to sort the finances separately in a divorce.

My ex-wife did something similar with the man she left me for. So I blackmailed her for the divorce. She wasn't in a position tomato argue with me.

Oh dear, never mind, eh?