How do I separate from my partner?

[Liz79k]

I have been with my partner for over 20yrs. We are not married. We have a teenage daughter.
Cutting a long story short I know that I need to end this relationship. I tried when our daughter was much younger but he made threats about letting me leave but wouldn't allow me to take our daughter. I was ground down and have continued to stay in the relationship. Today we have had another blazing row over nothing but it escalated and he was very verbally abusive towards me which was witnessed by our daughter. I don't think I can ever forgive him for this. Not because of what he said to me but for the fact he did it in front of our daughter. I have no idea about how I go about leaving. We share a mortgage, I know he won't buy me out and I also know he won't easily put our house up for sale in order to split the money. I work full-time but in a low paid job and I feel financially trapped. If I could afford to I would happily walk away with nothing and start again from scratch but I just don't have the finances to do so. Staying with family is not a possibility. Please can someone advise me on what steps to take first.

As you are not married, what is the basis of your home ownership? Joint owners or owners in common? Was an agreement put into place when you bought about what to do if one of you wanted out?

I've just done this, very similar 11 years 2 kids under 5 and a shared mortgage. Know your worth, everything will be ok and will work out in the end. Good luck

We are joint owners. I'm not sure if we put anything in place if we were to split. I just assumed it would all be done fairly. I never even considered back then he would become so difficult. I can check the documents though.
@LadyGardenersQuestionTime

Thank you, good luck to you too@ilovethecold

Hugs
Preparation is key. Start by setting up your own personal bank account if you haven't one already.
If you are on benefits get a set of new forms including housing benefit.
Find out if you can go on the housing list.

Try to build a safe place in advance that you can go to.

But prepare for the worst with a small pot of money and a charged phone and change of clothes for you a your daughter.
Gather up your key documents..birth certificate, national health number etc to make sure you can apply for everything you need.

Also you can get a mail forwarding service put on your address by the royal mail, to make sure he can't use your mail as a way to control you.

If you struggle with forms make an appointment with citizens advice and if he gets possessive one with women's aid.

It's good to recognise when a line has been crossed by him and to say this far and no further.

Good luck.

Everything @Babasghost said. Just wanted to say well done for taking the decision. And wish you good luck

if You own the house as joint tenants you are due 50% of its equity
how much is that ?
he’ll either have to buy you out or you sell and you take your share
if he won’t do either you’d have to take to court to force the sale

with that money can you afford somewhere else? How much can you get as a mortgage. ? Where will your daughter reside and what maintenance is due for her ?

think about the practical steps and options