Post divorce trauma?

[Elisabella01]

Hey

I’m not sure how to word this but just wondered if anyone else feels the same. My marriage wasn’t a happy one. My ex would gaslight, manipulate and control me. After two miscarriages I went for counselling and learned just how toxic my relationship was. I called it off and was subject to stalking, harassment and threats. Fast forward a few years and I attended a family wedding with my new partner. It was a DIY wedding so I was expected to help out getting things ready. The whole week on the run up I felt cold, heartless, irritable, moody. The night before it all came out in a sobbing angry way toward my partner. I was dreading this wedding. But for no specific reason that I could think of. Now when I think back, the thought of getting married just makes me feel so awful. I can’t understand why I did it or why people continue to get married. My view in marriage is so negative. Is this because of my relationship? I’m awaiting counselling but thought this might be a good place to help me process 😀.

No idea if its normal OP but I'm the same. I don't really go to weddings anymore because I just don't understand why anyone would put themselves through it. I recognise that that's because of my view of my unhealthy marriage.

Should add I've been divorced 3 years and am happy with my partner. People ask a lot of we will marry and the thought makes me sick. Luckily he's on the same page

Thank you for sharing. I feel exactly the same. My partner wants to get married and we have a healthy and happy relationship but the thought makes me ill too. It feels unfair I’m denying her that but I cannot stand the thought. My best friend gets married next year and I’m faking my excitement for her.

I’m also going through divorce and feel very cynical about marriage now. I wouldn’t get married again.

Same here. I like the thought of having a partner and someone to share life experiences with but the thought of being legally tied to someone is now horrifying to me.

I have a wonderful partner and we live separately, the thought of even living with him and sharing our finances makes me so nervous.

I just separated a year and so ago, not yet divorced but do not even think about getting into a new relationship and especially getting married again. At this point in in my life I too do not understand why people still do it, but when I was a young woman that was all I could think of, getting married and having kids. It must be the post separation trauma.