Question?

[Mumsinfo]

I have a question for everyone that has a partner.

My husband absolutely hates me asking him if he could possibly consult me whenever he wants to make plans with others, I think this is the norm for couples For example, I had mentioned to him that I wanted to invite my family over ours and I mentioned the time and day to him (as usual - he didn’t pay much attention) Aafter a few hours he gets in contact with my family and arranges a totally different time - just like that! I then confront him and say why can’t you ask first? what if I have plans? What if I can’t make it at the time? etc etc and I receive only negative words like I’m the only women on earth that is so difficult and he says that he wants to divorce and leave me as I’m so complicated!

Now, please tell me if this is normal? 🤪😩

He sounds like he doesn't value you as a person who has needs.

Of course it's normal to check with eachother, you are two individuals. He seems like a "whats mine is mine and what's yours is also mine" type of person.

A threat of divorce over that is awful. I'd be tempted to accept.

Unfortunately my DH doesn’t bother informing me until the day . Very frustrating.

It’s only common courtesy to check with each other when making plans.

No my STBXH has been doing this to me for years. Makes all sorts of plans without asking/consulting me first. Then says “I hope you don’t mind but…..”
I have always has to be really laid back about stuff (no choice), but sometimes I do bloody mind! But I get it in the neck for objecting. It’s a way of just getting his own way because he doesn’t value me.

I went to therapy and she said 1) he was very entitled 2) he treats me like a child (not an equal partner) 3) he possibly had some narcissistic traits.

This aspect of his behaviour comes as a job with other behaviours which I realise now were simply there to manipulate and demean me so he could always have the upper hand.

My husband would also never properly listen to me (I’m just not important enough to him), and then accuse me of over reacting/being too sensitive.

I saw the light, and I’m off and out!